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  1. #1
    Community Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019

    Default I used to enjoy the smell of bacon

    I used to enjoy the smell of bacon.

    It happened so slowly, I almost didn’t notice.

    I first saw the pan on the ship when I turned the wrong way for the ladder up and almost splatted my nose into the big steam engine. New ship, ya know? Still figuring out the decks and all.

    There they were, those three big strips of bacon, sizzling and spitting fat, although there weren’t no flames under it. Smelled good, honestly, but I was on my way to a raid, so I just kept going. Didn’t think nothing of it at the time. Probably the halflings, they are always trying to cook something and carrying on about recipes.

    But then guildies started to disappear. One after another, slow, like that darn Elminster in the Rift, waddlin’ along, takin’ his time. I mean, I didn’t really pay that much attention, just figured maybe they were stuck in the Pit, out of reach of a shrine, and any minute they’d be yelling for help in chat.

    Except they didn’t.

    I was emptying my bag into the guild chest, shaking out the funerary tokens and bits of cryptmoss and holding my nose against the stink, when it struck me that the chest seemed awful full. Usually the crafting types suck up the collectibles as fast as we put them in, but the larva were crawling all over the Phoenix Tavern purchase orders and eating the warehouse ledgers.

    But, eh, crafter types, they’re kinda flighty. I dumped the rest of my blister beetles on top of the mess, shut the lid, and scurried off for a Shroud run.

    When I came back, scorched and sore and swearing a blue streak at the total party wipe, I thought maybe a soak in the Bath House might improve my mood.

    Except there were dead frogs, floating in the water.

    Now, I don’t have no argument with the Wild Grove as a buff, but the dang deer running up and down the decks, someone’s got to clean up all that scat. I kinda thought that maybe the foxes went after the frogs, but then I found a dead fox . . . and when I turned the corner to the Grove, I realized that the deer were all dead.

    Well, that was that, and something was up. So I took off to the ladder, turned the wrong way again, and that’s when I saw it.

    Bacon. Much more bacon. And what sure looked like frog’s legs to me. Where no fire burned, yet the meat sizzled and spat. And the smell. What had seemed so warm and comforting now smelled foul and dire.

    I backed away real slow.

    Now, an adventure? With mucks and undead and spiders and what-all leaping out at you? That’s okay by me. But this?

    This was creepy.

    I was done and out. I leaped for the ladder, and headed for the Captain. She’d know, and she’d help.

    She wasn’t there. The ship was flying, praise the Silver Flame for that much, but no Captain.

    I headed back down. No Thad, no Sully, the ship lights seemed to darken as I moved through it, although the wood still creaked and groaned and the engines throbbed.

    So, here I sit, hiding in the corners behind the crates in the cargo hold. Me and every weapon I possess. Something is moving, stalking me.

    And I can’t bring myself to go and see how much bacon its piled in that pan, where no fire burns yet the bacon sizzles and spits . . . .

  2. #2
    Community Member Grandern_Marn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Tokyo, Japan (aka the Hatchery)


    Start cross server trading and profit!
    Characters: Grandern Marn / Yazmirr Grezztl / Vexir Bristleblade / Zappinaizah Subatrumpf Server: Orien Guild: Faca na Caveira
    New to the Orien server? Type "/joinchannel Titan" into the chat window and join some lively DDO discussion! Happy to help out with any questions.

  3. #3
    Community Manager
    Cordovan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Boston Area, MA


    Thank you for casting Raise Dead. Enjoy the Zombie Bacon forums through Halloween.
    Have fun, and don't forget to gather for buffs!
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