Dear Bangpow, A LOVE LETTER (sigh why cant you type)

Hey there big guy! I know you hate it and love it and want it and are disgusted by the P2w... just hold on there big guy.... slow the testosterone down... back off on the roids dude....
First of all its just a game OK? ----"OK you are right"----
And you wont be spending any money on this 90 day aberration. ---"I am a sucker already! they got my VIP sub!"---

Ok superman wannabe... here is the lowdown.... this HCL permadeath is a different beast compared to your regular R1 Warlock zerg ahead, grab 17 mobs, throw down noodles, and blast away. You die alot like that and it is embarrassing...I know you have jibbers, and korthos cakes saved up, but we cannot be doing that on the HCL. ----"DANG! you are a Debbie downer!, I am reporting you to JEETS!"---

So I am going to compile a list of kind reminders so you can review them and do well on that @#$%^ show of a server...

1) Slow your punk @ss down. Here is something you haven't thought about in a LONG TIME... Enjoy the game.... one kolbold at a time, one box broken at a time, check out every room. Remember how we used to do that? it was fun remember? ----"Yeah, it is kind of foggy, but i remember"---

2)Now then we are going to control our selves.. YOU create the LFM, YOU be the leader you can be!, YOU dictate the pace!(see reminder 1!) when you create the LFM make sure you put in there "EARS PLEASE!" we are going to be nice to others, we are going to talk to others, we are going to plan and strategize each hallway and room. ---"WOW, you are bossy!and i hate it when you are right! jerk...---" and dont let them determine the risk. if they say lets do R!, you say, OK that sounds great! let do hrd and if we can handle that easy we will step it up. then let them die

3) We are NOT trying to win this, you will only hurt yourself and others too. You ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN, DANG IT! do you hear me?! Treat each dungeon as a mini challenge.. THE MAIN REASON YOU DIE NOW IS OVERCONFIDENCE. you will be first life toon with no gear. HUMBLE YOURSELF DUDE!

4) Our new mantra is... Just don't die, Just dont die, Just dont die... I want you to mumble that to yourself as your are questing...

5) You have been playing warlock for 23 racial past lives, YOU WILL PLAY THIS SAME BUILD. don't try something new or shiny. you know this thing, you know the gear, you know how it plays, you know what it needs to be successful. Just do it.. DON'T change it. ----"Yes sir!, but i heard about this new thing called tiefling Inquisitive? thats good right? And shouldn't i play the new class Alchemist? it will be OP when it comes out, just like every new class they make when it first comes out so people will buy it, I want to do that! RIGHT??!!--- nope, shut up.. --"ok(hangs head)"---

6) Break every box, Pick up everything that drops out of boxes, pick up every purple bag, grab every collectible, open every door, explore every room. open every chest..do it all every time. ---"Check"---

7) farm 5 cannith crystal aid bracers(+11HP reusable with each shrine, +55hp, zero plat cost), farm 3 Anger step boot for 15 minutes of +25% speed run(sacrifices).

8) Use Byron.. we love him!

9) Remember the combo... Bear pot, False life scroll, barkskin pot, aid bracers, jump pot, rage pot, call forth pet scroll, and flaming sphere

10) MAX UMD

11) always protect yourself from magic missile, night shield, shield.

12) Kolbold Shamans kill with LIGHTING. protect against that.. remember how many times you have died from that?

13) Dont grab aggro. there will be plenty of "heroes" out there to do that for you

14)Put everything on the regular auction house. And put it up for CHEAP, only 3x what the regular vendor will give you.. others might need it and you will be happy with constant supply of plat for your POT habit.. dont support the ASAH. dont even look at it.

15) i will be back with more stuff for you later.. and please stop smashing the keyboard so hard, those keys never did anything to deserve such treatment....