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  1. #1
    Community Member Grandern_Marn's Avatar
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    Default Patch Note Hilarity

    I have come to half read the patch notes for valuable information and half for random comical content.
    The humor found within the patch note can come from 3 sources:

    1) purposeful puns embedded in the factual changes
    2) obscure dev terminology that sounds weird, meaningless or absolutely confusing
    3) ridiculous changes that made no sense for being there in the first place or I never noticed (but wish that I had)



    As we wait for the worlds to come back up, let us take a look at the goodies in the latest update 42 patch 1:

    - Erroneous daggers no longer appear in the loot lists of Masterminds of Sharn.

    WHAT??? Those daggers were awesome!!! So random.
    I remember asking the group I was playing with about them when they kept showing up in chests.
    They said it was a glitch but in the back of my mind I was still holding out for a possible use for them.
    They were so confounding in their simplicity...

    - Human Vaunt Security rares now have weapons.

    What in heavens name were they fighting with before?
    Just bashing stuff with their fists?
    Swinging nothingness as if it were a weapon?
    Wish I could have been there...


    - Corrected an issue with damage reduction on the Wash and Dry optional bosses.

    Now this was well needed. I did this optional a couple times - once with a group in epics and it took us a good 20 minutes to finish this fight.
    It was like all 6 of us were armed with wet noodles and slapping the f out of the 2 silly bosses.
    Ran it again on heroic with another character and it was a standard challenging fight.


    - The end chest is now accessible even for players with a jump skill lower than three.

    What does this even mean??
    Is this a 'low' key short person joke? Are the devs 'lowering the bar' so Clerics can complete quests too?
    Allowing characters to finish a quest with a jump skill lower than three sounds ridiculous, I just imagine characters that have difficulties in hurdling speed bumps.

    Call me a contrarian but I hope for many more glitches which lead to further enjoyable patch notes into the future.
    Thank you.
    Breaking boxes since 2011
    Characters: Grandern Marn / Yazmirr Grezztl / Vexir Bristleblade / Zappinaizah Subatrumpf Server: Orien Guild: Faca na Caveira
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  2. #2
    Community Member Nyata's Avatar
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    on those daggers: someone I run with suggested how hilarious it would be if there was an objective in the yet to come raid that absolutely needed one of those daggers to complete after we all kept just trashing them.

    and on the last one with the chest: well the end chest is a little hard to get to. yes, it has been stated that you can get there with a jump skill of 3, but that is theory vs practice. or rather, if you practice 100 times and glitch off at some point every time you try to get to that silly named item chest, you will never ever run that quest again. my inner goblin appreciates the sarcasm to make the patch note point out again that you could still do it with a jump skill of three though!

    oh and on that note: I have started channeling my inner goblin instead of my inner kobold, so I really really need to find a new avatar!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grandern_Marn View Post
    - The end chest is now accessible even for players with a jump skill lower than three.

    What does this even mean??
    Is this a 'low' key short person joke? Are the devs 'lowering the bar' so Clerics can complete quests too?
    Allowing characters to finish a quest with a jump skill lower than three sounds ridiculous, I just imagine characters that have difficulties in hurdling speed bumps.

    Call me a contrarian but I hope for many more glitches which lead to further enjoyable patch notes into the future.
    Thank you.
    There was a thread where a certain dev (not naming names, but their initials are Flimsy Firewood ) stated something about being able to get to the chest even with only a 3 jump. Folks had been complaining about not being able get to the chest. I assume this is that anonymous dev's response.

  4. #4
    Guardian
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    Gabrael's Avatar
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    funny patch notes? oh my summer child, you ain't seen nothing yet!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nxsCZ2SEcQ
    I come from the west. Through countries, peoples, and cities - to this place: STORMREACH.
    My duty: Guardian. To mend and defend. To defend my newfound friends, their hopes, and dreams. To defend them from their enemies.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grandern_Marn View Post
    - Erroneous daggers no longer appear in the loot lists of Masterminds of Sharn.
    At first I read that as 'erogenous daggers', which was a little ... confusing.
    Brenna, Tzanna, and Tzinna Wavekin
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  6. #6
    Traveler of the Skies Frogger1234's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by guzzlr View Post
    There was a thread where a certain dev (not naming names, but their initials are Flimsy Firewood ) stated something about being able to get to the chest even with only a 3 jump. Folks had been complaining about not being able get to the chest. I assume this is that anonymous dev's response.
    Naming names (and providing direct reference):
    https://www.ddo.com/forums/showthrea...=1#post6212778

  7. #7
    Community Member FuzzyDuck81's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SableShadow View Post
    At first I read that as 'erogenous daggers', which was a little ... confusing.
    they're the ones Vella specialises in
    I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was, now what's it is weird and scary to me.

  8. #8
    Traveler of the Skies Frogger1234's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grandern_Marn View Post
    - Erroneous daggers no longer appear in the loot lists of Masterminds of Sharn.
    "Erroneous dagger" is a good name for a future named item.

  9. #9
    Community Member Grandern_Marn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gabrael View Post
    funny patch notes? oh my summer child, you ain't seen nothing yet!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nxsCZ2SEcQ
    Gab that is hilarious, I think I've seen it before or heard of the patch there but I laughed pretty hard watching that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Frogger1234 View Post
    "Erroneous dagger" is a good name for a future named item.
    YES!!! And then in the flavor text say "this looks like your standard run of the mill dagger..."
    Breaking boxes since 2011
    Characters: Grandern Marn / Yazmirr Grezztl / Vexir Bristleblade / Zappinaizah Subatrumpf Server: Orien Guild: Faca na Caveira
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by SableShadow View Post
    At first I read that as 'erogenous daggers', which was a little ... confusing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Frogger1234 View Post
    "Erroneous dagger" is a good name for a future named item.
    The Erogenous Dagger would definitely be an "artifact" and sentient... obviously with with Malicia's voice.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by guzzlr View Post
    The Erogenous Dagger would definitely be an "artifact" and sentient... obviously with with Malicia's voice.
    and now I want a Malicia Sentient Gem!
    I come from the west. Through countries, peoples, and cities - to this place: STORMREACH.
    My duty: Guardian. To mend and defend. To defend my newfound friends, their hopes, and dreams. To defend them from their enemies.

  12. #12
    Community Member Dabima's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grandern_Marn View Post
    - Human Vaunt Security rares now have weapons.

    What in heavens name were they fighting with before?
    Just bashing stuff with their fists?
    Swinging nothingness as if it were a weapon?
    Wish I could have been there...

    This one was humurous. Ran into this guy last night. Vaultner the named Vaunt Guard just runs up to you and starts punching you. No other attacks coded
    Orien: ][Vladtepes][Gelatinous][Lelitha]

  13. #13
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    Darn, I missed an opportunity to write, "Wash and Dry are now easier to clean."
    Have fun, and don't forget to gather for buffs!
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  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by guzzlr View Post
    There was a thread where a certain dev (not naming names, but their initials are Flimsy Firewood ) stated something about being able to get to the chest even with only a 3 jump. Folks had been complaining about not being able get to the chest. I assume this is that anonymous dev's response.
    Now you can get to that chest with a jump score of -4.

    How low can you go?

  15. #15
    Community Member Dragavon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FuzzyDuck81 View Post
    they're the ones Vella specialises in
    Oooh, an Eddings fan

  16. #16
    Community Member Alrik_Fassbauer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gabrael View Post
    and now I want a Malicia Sentient Gem!
    Oh dear ... now I have an "I want out !" in my ears ...
    "Archbishop Dryden wants to talk to you to tapper this dale."
    "Archbishop Dryden wants to talk to you to tap on this dale."
    "Archbishop Dryden wants to talk to you to tap on this tale."
    English is not my first language - misinterpretations galore !

  17. #17
    Community Member Mindos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cordovan View Post
    Darn, I missed an opportunity to write, "Wash and Dry are now easier to clean."
    Were'nt there some elementals in Record of the Past that had a similar problem?


  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gabrael View Post
    and now I want a Malicia Sentient Gem!
    Can haz? There's a reason I always took the sultry voice option (Female 2) in baldur's gate.



    Quote Originally Posted by Alrik_Fassbauer View Post
    Oh dear ... now I have an "I want out !" in my ears ...
    I ... imagine slightly different dialogue. xD
    Last edited by SableShadow; 05-21-2019 at 12:18 PM.
    Brenna, Tzanna, and Tzinna Wavekin
    The Dancing Rogues of Argonnessen
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  19. #19
    Community Member Alrik_Fassbauer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cordovan View Post
    Darn, I missed an opportunity to write, "Wash and Dry are now easier to clean."
    Quote Originally Posted by Mindos View Post
    Were'nt there some elementals in Record of the Past that had a similar problem?
    "No elementals were harmed during the making of this expansion."
    "Archbishop Dryden wants to talk to you to tapper this dale."
    "Archbishop Dryden wants to talk to you to tap on this dale."
    "Archbishop Dryden wants to talk to you to tap on this tale."
    English is not my first language - misinterpretations galore !

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gabrael View Post
    and now I want a Malicia Sentient Gem!
    I have a feeling that adding in voice acting where a woman acts sexually stimulating while causing lethal violence to countless enemies....yeah, that might bump the rating up to M for Mature

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