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  1. #1
    Community Member bsquishwizzy's Avatar
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    Default A humerous blast from the past

    So, I went on vacation, and the in internet connection was terrible. Luckily, I had my tablet, and I downloaded Baulder's Gate and was able to play it. So I got my D&D gaming fix in for the week-or-so I was gone.

    Twice in that game, Elminster shows up to impart a bunch of sage, by cryptic advice on how to progress. In fact, it was a lot like his interaction with my character in DDO. In short: show up when I least need him, talk a lot of mumbo-jumbo, and then bolt WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING REMOTELY, FRICKIN' USEFUL!!!!! YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE SOMEWHAT USEFUL TO MAYBE SHOW UP WHEN BOB THE KILLER GREEN DRAGON DECIDES TO USE MY HEAD AS A FRICKIN' CHEWTOY?!?!? MAYBE?!?!? HUH?!?!?









    Well, at least DDO got that character portrayed correctly...

  2. #2
    Community Member AbyssalMage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsquishwizzy View Post
    So, I went on vacation, and the in internet connection was terrible. Luckily, I had my tablet, and I downloaded Baulder's Gate and was able to play it. So I got my D&D gaming fix in for the week-or-so I was gone.

    Twice in that game, Elminster shows up to impart a bunch of sage, by cryptic advice on how to progress. In fact, it was a lot like his interaction with my character in DDO. In short: show up when I least need him, talk a lot of mumbo-jumbo, and then bolt WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING REMOTELY, FRICKIN' USEFUL!!!!! YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE SOMEWHAT USEFUL TO MAYBE SHOW UP WHEN BOB THE KILLER GREEN DRAGON DECIDES TO USE MY HEAD AS A FRICKIN' CHEWTOY?!?!? MAYBE?!?!? HUH?!?!?

    Well, at least DDO got that character portrayed correctly...
    Lol, I am reminiscing about all the posts after MotU release and this exact conversation.

  3. #3
    Community Member Rykka's Avatar
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    El's a manager. His job is to motivate you to use that chewtoy you call your head.
    This game is like pacman, except each pastlife in pacman made the game more difficult and in this game it gets easier.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsquishwizzy View Post
    In short: show up when I least need him, talk a lot of mumbo-jumbo, and then bolt WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING REMOTELY, FRICKIN' USEFUL!!!!! YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE SOMEWHAT USEFUL TO MAYBE SHOW UP WHEN BOB THE KILLER GREEN DRAGON DECIDES TO USE MY HEAD AS A FRICKIN' CHEWTOY?!?!? MAYBE?!?!? HUH?!?!?
    You're supposed to be a child of a god. He probably thinks you should be able to Deal With It.

  5. #5
    Community Member janave's Avatar
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    Elminster is a terrible piker,
    im pretty sure he is there when you loot the chests, to see if there is any left over

  6. #6
    Community Member Kalevor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by janave View Post
    Elminster is a terrible piker,
    im pretty sure he is there when you loot the chests, to see if there is any left over
    terrible?? try with Master Piker!!! Is the man... he arrives only when you loot, he takes the reward, the girls... always without pain... for him at least. He just say his line and get the pay... he is a pro.
    Proud officer of Zuleicos (Thelanis) - Mikaelus (Melee) ; Akhnaroth (Caster) ; Kraneo (Healbot) ; Leonardu (Melee) ; Tormentazul (Melee)
    Quote Originally Posted by Hoglum
    Come play Dungeons and Dragons! In heroic play you will face the evil minions of Demons... When and if you make it to Epic levels you face even greater threats. Threats like... giant rats and wolves!

  7. #7
    Community Member brian14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsquishwizzy View Post
    show up when I least need him, talk a lot of mumbo-jumbo, and then bolt WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING REMOTELY, FRICKIN' USEFUL!!!!! YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE SOMEWHAT USEFUL TO MAYBE SHOW UP WHEN BOB THE KILLER GREEN DRAGON DECIDES TO USE MY HEAD AS A FRICKIN' CHEWTOY?!?!? MAYBE?!?!? HUH?!?!?
    Gandalf is like that too.
    "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

    "Of course it is. Are YOU going to question beholder's artistic sense?"

  8. #8
    Community Member Varinon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsquishwizzy View Post
    So, I went on vacation, and the in internet connection was terrible. Luckily, I had my tablet, and I downloaded Baulder's Gate and was able to play it. So I got my D&D gaming fix in for the week-or-so I was gone.

    Twice in that game, Elminster shows up to impart a bunch of sage, by cryptic advice on how to progress. In fact, it was a lot like his interaction with my character in DDO. In short: show up when I least need him, talk a lot of mumbo-jumbo, and then bolt WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING REMOTELY, FRICKIN' USEFUL!!!!! YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE SOMEWHAT USEFUL TO MAYBE SHOW UP WHEN BOB THE KILLER GREEN DRAGON DECIDES TO USE MY HEAD AS A FRICKIN' CHEWTOY?!?!? MAYBE?!?!? HUH?!?!?









    Well, at least DDO got that character portrayed correctly...
    Well, at least DDOs Elminster kills a bebilith. He at least did /something/. Though I have to admit, having a kill count of 1 total in two quests is pretty weak.

  9. #9
    Community Member Chai's Avatar
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    Fantasy genre has no shortage of bumbling pointy hat bearded quest givers that are more powerful than everyone else, but make the noobs do all the heavy lifting instead.

    Forgotten Realms: Elminster Sith lord of the pikers.

    Dragonlance: Fizban the fabulous (who is actually Paladine, the leader of the gods of good)

    LOTR: Gandalf. Basically fizban is a rip off of this dude. A god who kinda does but kinda doesn't know hes a god, yet.

    Harry Potter: Dumbledore. Could just tell Harry whats up, but harry wont gain xp leveling himself if he already knows the truth. Those mama jokes snape keeps making Harry? Those aint jokes.

    Camelot: Merlin. Yeah Arthur, go on this quest, and send your best knights off on other quests.

    Shazam: I used to be a powerful wizard, then I became old and most of my power is gone. Here, have these powers, and this insane level of responsibility.
    Advocating repeated nerfs in the name of "balancing the game" then complaining about how DDO is moving away from D&D, is a direct contradiction in logic - D&D 3.5 (what DDO is based on) is not a balanced game. We can either have a balanced clone MMO with homogenized classes, or we can have a D&D game. We cant have both.

  10. #10
    Community Member bsquishwizzy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brian14 View Post
    Gandalf is like that too.
    According to the books, Gandalf actually took out a few mobs: the trolls in the Hobbit, contesting with the Balrog in LotR. I mean the guy actually did something.

    Elminster? Notsomuch...

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsquishwizzy View Post
    According to the books, Gandalf actually took out a few mobs: the trolls in the Hobbit, contesting with the Balrog in LotR. I mean the guy actually did something.

    Elminster? Notsomuch...
    Wargs and Orcs several times as well. Gandalf CCed a bunch while the Fellowship zerged from Rivendell through Moria

    Oh and also, Eagles. I don't recall Elminster ever summoning a bunch of apex predator-shaped demigods to save your butt whenever your party's about to wipe.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsquishwizzy View Post
    According to the books, Gandalf actually took out a few mobs: the trolls in the Hobbit, contesting with the Balrog in LotR. I mean the guy actually did something.

    Elminster? Notsomuch...
    According to the books Elminster went to HELL to close a rift that had opened to his world to save his world (the whole world, not just one small adventure party) from the demons getting ready to pour out of it, by locking himself on the INSIDE with the demons, and the torture got really graphic from there. And I've only just started this book.

    I don't call that notsomuch...
    Turtel, Turtley Wrath, Tortoisse, Waterssong, Victerr Creed, Utahraptor, Velocaraptor, Minddancer, Loggerhead, Matamata, Sulcata, Ticerratops, Sierrann, Hankx, Shartelhane

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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrinityTurtle View Post
    According to the books Elminster went to HELL to close a rift that had opened to his world to save his world (the whole world, not just one small adventure party) from the demons getting ready to pour out of it, by locking himself on the INSIDE with the demons, and the torture got really graphic from there. And I've only just started this book.

    I don't call that notsomuch...
    Which books or series please?

  14. #14
    Community Member Nestroy's Avatar
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    + Gandalf - epic Warrior in Wizard disguise. How else you would see him? At last he does fight when pressed.
    + Fizban / Zifnab - "I think, I have a spell there somewhere..." OK, might not be the most powerful DPS mage in the whole story arc, but at last casts something remotely useful from time to time.
    + Dumbledore - this dude is powerful and shows up from time to time. OK, he let´s Harry Potter do some dirty work, but at last he from time to time is seen to cast something useful or is doing something appropriate to an Archmage of epic levels. About the Snape sidekick I will not muse now.
    + Merlin is seen to cast something useful for Arthurs father - well, sort of. And when finally Arthur has to fight his son, he again is helpful. According to what sourcebooks you use, Merlin is some bardic sorceror or truly a mighty wizzard, but anyway he does help and does cast great magic from time to time. Camelot would not exist if not for his wizardry.

    ... and then this leaves us the "Biggest Piker Ever", the "Legendary Piker of Shadowdale", Pikeminster himself. I still wish for the day I am allowed to kill that old piker by hanging him on his beard from the next tree! Yes, I would gladly accept an alignment change for this. Need some example? First, we meet him in the Demonweb. He teleports out, but is not powerful enough to teleport us with him? Whut?
    Then. hey, we save Ana from the Mystra temple, only to see her go with Elminster to find out how here powers work. We find out the Drow are looking for some "Thread of the Weave"... We finally storm the Ziggurat only to see Elminster coming in piking and telling us idiotic nonsense? And Ana with him... Ok, we save Ana from Lolth only to see him coming in again and telling us he will take Ana with him... Great!
    And we save and re-save the Netherscroll, only after the big boss fight seeing him waltzing in and taking that f*cking scroll we fought and got killed for?

    Now, what did Elminster ever do except piking and doing ******** things?

    I still want my chance to kill that *ommited for tone*!
    Last edited by Nestroy; 08-06-2014 at 12:25 PM.

  15. #15
    Scholar Of Adventure & Hero Missing_Minds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by janave View Post
    Elminster is a terrible piker,
    im pretty sure he is there when you loot the chests, to see if there is any left over
    Actually if you followed his lore per Ed Greenwood's books, its hinted at that he's the one that left treasure for others to find to help advance and encourage "the art".

    He's FR version of the drunk artificer that populates the chests in EB.

  16. #16
    Scholar Of Adventure & Hero Missing_Minds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by digitaljc View Post
    Which books or series please?
    Sounds like "Elminster in Hell".

    http://www.amazon.com/Elminster-Hell...elminster+hell

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by digitaljc View Post
    Which books or series please?
    The book I referenced specifically is Elminster in Hell, written by Ed Greenwood himself.
    Turtel, Turtley Wrath, Tortoisse, Waterssong, Victerr Creed, Utahraptor, Velocaraptor, Minddancer, Loggerhead, Matamata, Sulcata, Ticerratops, Sierrann, Hankx, Shartelhane

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  18. #18
    Scholar Of Adventure & Hero Missing_Minds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nestroy View Post
    + Merlin is seen to cast something useful for Arthurs father - well, sort of. And when finally Arthur has to fight his son, he again is helpful. According to what sourcebooks you use, Merlin is some bardic sorceror or truly a mighty wizzard, but anyway he does help and does cast great magic from time to time. Camelot would not exist if not for his wizardry.
    As I've not read Morte d'Author in years... I'm going to go off what I remember from the movie Excalabur and exclude Disney's Sword in the Stone.

    What you have Merlin doing in your example is summon a fog and then an Illusion on Pendragon so he could go get laid.
    In the second on, Merlin dream weaved into Morgana's dream to trick her into casting a fog as well.

    Apparently in their world of magic, such a fog casting was very draining to an individual.

  19. #19
    Scholar Of Adventure & Hero Missing_Minds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrinityTurtle View Post
    The book I referenced specifically is Elminster in Hell, written by Ed Greenwood himself.
    I could be wrong but I think any/all official books with Elminster always were done by Ed greenwood or at the minimum with him listed in credits.

    That reminds me... I wonder if I ever picked up the Knights of Mynthdranor trilogy. I did enjoy how he had their comradedry.

  20. #20
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    From the title, I was expecting some arm related joke—maybe about a pitcher or quarter-back.
    http://myaccount.turbine.com

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