An unusual aspect I recall noticing develop in DDO society very early on and was both dismayed and offended by was the attitude of some that if they had formed the group they had absolute control over it and the members in it, frequently treating them as little then hirelings before we had hirelings. Hirelings and the people who use and abuse them rather then bothering with groups where they would try to become dictators in are a godsend compared to the micro-managing Stalin wannabes out there who keep polluting the PUG scene with their cancerous behavior.
For a while it seemed to die down but lately I notice the forumites taking back that disgusting attitude like its something to aspire to.
UNDERSTAND one and all, outside of a guild where people willingly accept some form of a command structure, no one ever has any say so over anothers actions, and if you care about this game rather then condemning others and black listing them, accept their differences and try to get along for one silly dungeon then part ways civilly. This is doubly true in Pugs, and the constant talk like when someone joins a pug they need to bend over backwards to please the group at the cost of ones own self enjoyment is beyond cancerous and is infact a direct attack on the games ability to retain new players.
Some who only play DDO and at best a couple other MMOs may be unaware of several aspects very common in the wider MMO world. In a pug your only two goals should be getting along with strangers and trying to make lasting allies for future adventures, and doing whatever it is you do and enjoy doing to the best of your ability, and along with that accepting that others may not do what is expected but that doesnt instantly mean what they are doing is wrong.
However there is the caveat of knowing where you belong and this isnt directed at new comers who cant know this but at the VETS, Vets need to learn when to exile themselves from the general population no matter how much they want to play with new people for a change of pace, unless they are going to properly slum it and do so with a self challenge build or as leetist here like to call them gimp builds.
In other words if your going to decide to dabble in the pug scene when you can dominate the game blindfolded you need to give yourself a handicap so when you encounter new players they dont see you as something special compared to them. You cant be a glory hound hungering for adoration from the less powerful, this is the very aspect that kills new player retention the most. It is also why the TR aspect was such a bad idea from the get go without making there be a 1st life server a second life server and so on, which honestly to me would of been the only way they could of created the PL and higher starting build point options without creating so much of a sense of why bother for new players who ended up in a party with some self centered wannabe hero who thought wiping EE WW for the newb group in under 10 minutes was being helpful rather then a mood killer
And I know that comes off as some kind of contradiction, how can I ask for all to understand they are equals one and all in a group and let each do their own thing with no need to play by anothers rules, then say if your a vet in a group you need to not do your best. That isnt what I am saying I am saying dont use your super toons when you want to pug, use things that will make yourself need to use your triple A game just to keep up with the ignorant and foolish.
Then if and much more likely when a party wipe occurs, rally them, help them identify their own short comings without sounding like a know it all, like if your at lvl 10ish say hey guys out of curiosity what is everyones fortification at. Oh you dont have any well I know this fun challenging quest that we can knock out a few times to get everyone a heavy fort necklace. Maybe offer to use a power toon to make it easy on them, and let them know that it is an easy button youd be bringing and it would be largely a slaughter fest for you but you can make completion a sure thing to help get them geared abit.
I know it seems so wierd so complex so impossible. Yet the playerbase alone has the power to fix what Turbine made so flawed at the start. You being a god in the game gives you no right to rule over others no matter how badly you might wish it to be otherwise, and in fact it is the opposite the gods of this game need to be humble servants to the community, doing their absolute best to make the game feel as welcoming and fun as possible, and if they can not shed their selfish natures and put the game and others before themselves and their fun, they need to exile themselves from the forum and the games community by playing only alone until madness sets in.