I see a lot of threads and I mean year after year after year of them; that seem to be more about expectations, single experiences that are rare; blown up into "happens every time". Stuff that makes no sense and that is realy not what happens in the game. I see this from all sides. Truth is I've been guilty of this at times myself. Coloring the whole game with a broad brush over isolated incidents. Well I've come full circle, and realized: this game just doesn't resemble the forum skewed perspective. So here are a list of things I think are perception and not reality where that perception seems to be detrimental to the game. Even to the point of making players avoid aspects of DDO over something that isn't REALLY true or is so uncommon as to be effectively untrue. I'll list mine, feel free to list your own. Starting with the biggest misconception of them all:
Perception: Raiding is a bastion of elitists who are hungry to kick me and/or blame me for failure. So I don't run raids.
Reality: 99% of the hundreds of raids I've done had no sort of elitism of any description. And weren't even run by particularly good players.
P: no one ever teaches you the raid, or if they ask if anyone is new to the raid they're out to boot you.
Reality: of the hundreds of raids I've done a fair number of them someone asks if anyone is new, and no one was ever booted. Always someone takes a moment to explain, sometimes well, sometimes poorly, sometimes humorously. If its your first shroud please do as instructed and try to hit the middle, of the portal. Remember: trust in the shroud^^^^^^^^
P: if a raid goes bad they will blame the new guy so I don't do raids.
R: 99% of the failed raids I've been in had no blame handed out, usually they were just a few bad rolls in a row. occasionally a bad mix of classes or the lack of a needed class/skill. Most commonly the raids that failed had poor or non existent leadership.
P: I'm not prepared/ready for raiding, people will see my lower geared small kill count and boot me.
R: short answer is: no way LOL, most raids 5 people could be piking and no one would have a clue. No you're being timid for no reason! Long answer is I've seen 1 person booted from a raid that wasn't a clear case of deserving it (griefing/not listening at all which I've seen a couple times at most) that 1 person was me, and it was a case of "i knew I should have politely dropped when the leader was talking about the previous healer he booted who couldn't keep him alive". Clueless D-b*gs exist everywhere in life, they are no more or less prevalent in raids. Although often they do clump together in guilds, so avoid that persons raids and that guilds raids you'll be happier. But don't avoid raiding, that's silly).
P: I don't want to be a healer because they get all the blame when things go bad.
R: not hardly, it does happen very infrequently, ( see "D-b*g": world: full of, comment) in fact I've had instances of screwing up where the party members went out of their way to pretend it wasn't my fault. I've had as many or more of those experiences or forgiving party members (no big deal we got this), as I've heard "put down the bow and heal us" comments (exactly 1 time: the Bow is a casting implement with 27% spell power and I'm wearing FoT gauntlets of immortality Mr. D-b*g ).
P: if your not zerging you are one of those flower sniffers.
R: sometimes you zerg sometimes you slow down and make D&D nerdgasmic comments about the griffons. Some quests are just a played out source of XP. Some are worthy of doing the optionals. I suspect 95% of the player base plays this way. First time through, crawl figure things out. 100th time through, zerg.
P: some healers just don't heal, what's wrong with these people.
R: well the dozen or so of these healers I've run across seemed to be melees with a self heal multiclass, a couple were TR, on a life they weren't enjoying, most of them say something, even put it their LFM. The odd ACTUAL healer who didn't heal.. really not worthy of the threads we see. I suspect many of these posts are just venting by players who had an unfortunate incident, or met a healer who was having a bad day. Or heck who knows maybe D-b, world, full...
P: Everyone in DDO knows each other, so if you screw up in a quest you'll get black listed and no one will let you in their group, or join yours.
R: yeah lol no. Games way too big for that and no one knows who anyone's alts are even if it wasn't. Here's what actually happens, a small circle of high level guilds have affiliations and dramas with each other and they think they're important that way, so they extend this perception of their few hundred player "circle" out to everyone on the server. Most of whom have no clue who or what those couple guilds are about. Sure you sometimes run into the same people, but just as often you run with someone a couple times or once, and never see them again.