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Thread: I just feel bad

  1. #81
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    I have been shocked by some of the things I've seen in channels lately - it most certainly would be considered cyber-bullying. I have been neither a victim nor an aggressor, but quickly lose respect for the people that are being aggressive and nasty.

    Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in most industrialized nations. It's real - it happens - and you can be partially responsible if you participate in cyber-bullying.

    The group leader was absolutely right to stop the taunting.
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    Quote Originally Posted by slarden View Post
    I have been shocked by some of the things I've seen in channels lately - it most certainly would be considered cyber-bullying. I have been neither a victim nor an aggressor, but quickly lose respect for the people that are being aggressive and nasty.

    Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in most industrialized nations. It's real - it happens - and you can be partially responsible if you participate in cyber-bullying.

    The group leader was absolutely right to stop the taunting.
    Things like this are just embarrassing to read. Give up the white knight act.

    I'm pretty sure you've told a friend to 'break a leg' even though there's been hundreds of millions of broken legs in human history. You insensitive bastard.

    Ever stand next to a ridiculously overweight woman in a grocery store? Ever find it ironic that this woman is also ridiculously odorous, ridiculously unkempt? If you tell her she stinks it's not bullying, it's constructive criticism. It's letting her know that her own personal lack of respect has an unacceptable result on society. And you know what? You wouldn't sit her down and explain things nicely or hear her side of the story to get to know her, you just don't want anyone else to say anything either. Which is really pathetic because you've already judged like everyone else but are pretending to take the white night high road as though you didn't. The only reason you fake white knights refuse to take any action about anything is because you're weak. You don't have the stomach for reality.

    Xaris telling some idiot who grieved his group from instance to instance to go kill himself isn't bullying. It's sound advice and I hope someday xaris becomes a high school counselor because this herd does need to be thinned.

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ykt View Post
    Americans are such female cats.

    A kid is annoying a group of 12 people, even after being told to stop.
    He deserves to have a little text message on his screen telling him to **** ***.

    The need of the many outweighs the need of the one.
    Actually, had Xaris said for everyone to do such, I would have left it alone. It is just what he said was specifically to tell the person to go kill himself. I said no, and why. Then, when he continued in the same vein, I sent a PRIVATE tell to drop it or leave group. And I had previously sent the person a tell asking them nicely to leave, and did NOT get back a vulgar answer. Which begs the question of exactly what Xaris said to that person to get back such a response.
    Last edited by susiedupfer; 09-25-2013 at 07:13 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by susiedupfer View Post
    Actually, had Xaris said for everyone to do such, I would have left it alone. It is just what he said was specifically to tell the person to go kill himself. I said no, and why. Then, when he continued in the same vein, I sent a PRIVATE tell to drop it or leave group. And I had previously sent the person a tell asking them nicely to leave, and did NOT get back a vulgar answer. Which begs the question of exactly what Xaris said to that person to get back such a response.
    You seem to be hinting that Xaris' story may not be true.
    then could you please elaborate more about that person's behavior?
    is it true that he followed the group around and refused to go away? is it true that you changed instances and he did the same following you?

    either way, it would not constitute cyberbullying.
    talking about teenage-suicide this and cyberbullying that, this is blown way out of proportion.

  5. #85
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    Just wow i can't believe some of the stuff you read on the internet.

    You have no idea who your talking to, what their life circumstances are. When you say something at that level it's personal in the worse way, stealing a few kills is playing a game.

    Telling him to **** off on the other hand is fine or perhaps sneak humping him(they fixed that....)

  6. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emerge2012 View Post
    Xaris telling some idiot who grieved his group from instance to instance to go kill himself isn't bullying. It's sound advice and I hope someday xaris becomes a high school counselor because this herd does need to be thinned.
    Really? You're this socially inept to think good counseling is telling people to kill themselves?

  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by shirochan57 View Post
    You seem to be hinting that Xaris' story may not be true.
    then could you please elaborate more about that person's behavior?
    is it true that he followed the group around and refused to go away? is it true that you changed instances and he did the same following you?

    either way, it would not constitute cyberbullying.
    talking about teenage-suicide this and cyberbullying that, this is blown way out of proportion.
    I am sure the events happened as they happened, but I am also sure that Zee is being honest when she says she got a different response from the other player then Xaris did.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ungood View Post
    I am sure the events happened as they happened, but I am also sure that Zee is being honest when she says she got a different response from the other player then Xaris did.
    OK thank You.
    Although as I stated before, I do not believe the case to be such a big deal, this thread came to a point in time where both sides are starting to exaggerate and act emotionally.
    There is no point in dragging it ad infinitum

    good day to you all

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emerge2012 View Post
    Things like this are just embarrassing to read. Give up the white knight act.
    Such a strange, internet specific insult. In real life when people take a stand against bad behaviour... Ahh whatever. Since we're all anonymous of course it's a weird place.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emerge2012 View Post
    I'm pretty sure you've told a friend to 'break a leg' even though there's been hundreds of millions of broken legs in human history. You insensitive bastard.
    Obviously totally different. They're not dead.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emerge2012 View Post
    Ever stand next to a ridiculously overweight woman in a grocery store? Ever find it ironic that this woman is also ridiculously odorous, ridiculously unkempt? If you tell her she stinks it's not bullying, it's constructive criticism. It's letting her know that her own personal lack of respect has an unacceptable result on society. And you know what? You wouldn't sit her down and explain things nicely or hear her side of the story to get to know her, you just don't want anyone else to say anything either. Which is really pathetic because you've already judged like everyone else but are pretending to take the white night high road as though you didn't. The only reason you fake white knights refuse to take any action about anything is because you're weak. You don't have the stomach for reality.
    Judging people silently is a failing I think most people try and work on (or wholeheartedly embrace?), but it's totally different from telling or encouraging others to tell a stranger on the internet to kill themselves. Yes, I'm sure the perfect person would sit down with the smelly supermarket lady. I don't purport to be that guy, and I suspect neither does anyone else in this thread.


    Quote Originally Posted by Emerge2012 View Post
    Xaris telling some idiot who grieved his group from instance to instance to go kill himself isn't bullying. It's sound advice and I hope someday xaris becomes a high school counselor because this herd does need to be thinned.
    Final sentence amusement aside, there are people on the net who are suicidal.

    Teens, depressed people, whoever. Saying 'go and kill yourself' or encouraging others to send that tell is in a different ballpark to general jerkiness.

    "(@*# off" or "get out of here you $&^%" is bad but understandable and not ludicrously reckless.

    Don't tell people to kill themselves or risk encouraging other people to tell someone to kill themselves.
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  10. #90
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    The OP has made many attempts in this thread to make what he said acceptable because "He was ONLY Joking".


    Then we get the PC Brigade attacking those who think the OP was wrong by false attacks on PC - I say False Attacks because PC is a very bad thing in the world today and has gone way way too far BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT PC!


    Humour is the Most Subjective Sense that we as Humans have - Even between Fathers and Sons, Brothers and Sisters, Best Friends - They may like many of the same Shows, Comedians etc. BUT there WILL be points of Contention!

    I have been personally attacked on many occasions for "Supposedly" having NO Sense of Humour yet I adore {and own EVERY Episode on DVD} Red Dwarf, Blackadder, Allo Allo & Drop the Dead Donkey
    My Movie tastes are eclectic too - I adore Airplane {& Airplane 2} yet on the whole Loathe Spoofs!
    Rom Coms are not usually my thing yet I've sat through and enjoyed a number of them {And Not sat through and NOT enjoyed Many Many More!}.

    My Parents both Love Billy Connelly - I found him to be a Vile Comedian!
    My Sister watches and Enjoys many of the New Style of Comedy Sketch Shows that followed on from Harry Enfield & Chums - That was the LAST of those type of shows that I could Stomach in any way shape or form!


    The OP said something in a 12 man Group that I agree wholeheartedly with others in this thread would have been INSTANTLY Reported had I been in that Group!
    I've personally sent in Reports on a Number of this type of Vicious Attacks in In-Game Chat - No the Devs don't Always do anything {I find THEM to be rather too PC to be honest!}.
    BUT the Report WOULD have been made!



    As to the Vile Posts defending the OP {and y'all Know EXACTLY which Posts I'm referring to!} - Maybe those people might want to read up on a Little thins Called Eugenics and why Civilized People have no truck with it!



    Finally - Mabar is a Small Instance - I've Never Played WoW and have no intentions of Ever Playing WoW yet I'd guess that that game has Much Much Larger Instances.
    There's Only 4 or 5 places in each Mabar instance where it's worth parking a group {small or large}!
    IF all those Spots have 12 man groups at them {in all instances} - Well unlikely as that is it would be a massive hit on those of us who Solo, Duo or even Trio run it.

    I personally do a loop when soloing or Duoing Mabar - On that Loop I regularly run across Large Groups Camping and I am not happy to receive tells saying to p1$$ off etc.
    I've also found that it's far far more likely for these groups to "Steal" My Kills than the other way round!

    There can Only be so many 12 man groups up at one time - If you miss out on the first TWO groups then guess what - Making your own isn't likely to be the best use of your time!
    Once the First Couple of Groups have filled the Rest of the People in Mabar/Crystal Cove are likely to be 95% Solo or Duo - The Groups should accept that Soloers are gonna be in the area and stop with the Attacks!

    Oh Yes and in many of these so called groups there's Pikers Galore - One or Two People grab ALL the Kills - The Rest go afk and reap the benefits - NOT my idea of Social Grouping thank you!

  11. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by shirochan57 View Post
    I do not see anything wrong with what Xaris wanted to do. in his case the 'stalker' was the bully and the party being bullied aka the victim.

    so u believe that if i come and attack something that u also attack, but noone, NOONE says that i cannot attack also, and it turns out i kill it, you are being bullied? and you are a victim? of what?

    ffs...
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  12. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xaris View Post
    So, I don't usually post in the forums, in fact the only other time I posted was for a trade, but I enjoy reading the conversations going on. However something happened today that really buffled me and I would like your opinions/advice on it. I was in a Mabar group, the group leader being a person I have played with often before and feel comfortable with. We had this guy that kept coming where we did the killing following us from instance to instance, you know, the really annoying type. Many of us told him in a nice way to please leave this area since he was obviously kilstealing and go at the many other empty reas of the graveyard. He answered with insults. So we were discussing him in the group and people suggested things to do to make him stop, like let him take all the aggro, or go around him and taunt, etc.

    I, always in good fun, obvious by the rest of he conversation going on and the way i engaged it, suggestedwe all send him tells saying you suck or go kill yourself or sth like that. The group leader then said no and that might actually lead him to commit suicide. I replied that i seriously doubted that someone would actually take his own life because someone told him in a video game. Then the leader sent me a tell saying I should drop the conversation or leave the group. I was really confused. I didn't want to make anyone feel bad, I was just joking, I mean my proposition on the mean tells although crude was considered funny by the majority of the group.

    Now I am just wondering whether the group leader had something like that happed to her in real life and that's why she reacted like this. I hate being a jerk and up to know, I have always tried to be kind and nice to people that are nice themselves and she always was up until this reaction. I don't know, I am just wondering whether I should apologize or just let it be. It's just that this is my kind of humor and I 've made remarks that could be considered crude in her groups or with her present many times, just never touched this particular subject. Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.
    Why is this even a question?
    Your group leader is 100% correct.
    Do you have ANY idea how wonderful kids take their own lives because of this kinda c4@p?

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    Quote Originally Posted by nikos1313 View Post
    so u believe that if i come and attack something that u also attack, but noone, NOONE says that i cannot attack also, and it turns out i kill it, you are being bullied? and you are a victim? of what?

    ffs...
    It is interesting that of all my posts You took that particular sentence.
    You are forgetting about the context.

    If Im attacking sth and You come along, you may do that of course. but I may not like it so I may choose to go elsewhere.
    but if You follow and interrupt me again, I change the place again and You follow again, I change instance and You follow me still, I tell You to leave me alone and You dont listen,
    then yes, I would feel harassed

  14. #94
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    I decided not to read the entirety of this thread. This is just a response to the OP without looking at the responses.

    Basically, had you done what you suggested in a "joking" manner, you could have been banned from DDO for life, and you would have deserved it. The leader of the group was absolutely right.

    You sound like a young kid, a teenager probably. Just take my word for it that mature adults do not talk like that. Purposely making people feel like s**t is not the way to live your life. Take this as a growing moment.

  15. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emerge2012 View Post
    Things like this are just embarrassing to read. Give up the white knight act.

    I'm pretty sure you've told a friend to 'break a leg' even though there's been hundreds of millions of broken legs in human history. You insensitive bastard.

    Ever stand next to a ridiculously overweight woman in a grocery store? Ever find it ironic that this woman is also ridiculously odorous, ridiculously unkempt? If you tell her she stinks it's not bullying, it's constructive criticism. It's letting her know that her own personal lack of respect has an unacceptable result on society. And you know what? You wouldn't sit her down and explain things nicely or hear her side of the story to get to know her, you just don't want anyone else to say anything either. Which is really pathetic because you've already judged like everyone else but are pretending to take the white night high road as though you didn't. The only reason you fake white knights refuse to take any action about anything is because you're weak. You don't have the stomach for reality.

    Xaris telling some idiot who grieved his group from instance to instance to go kill himself isn't bullying. It's sound advice and I hope someday xaris becomes a high school counselor because this herd does need to be thinned.

    if you ever find your kid being told to ''kill him/her self'' online, then i guess your reaction to your kid would be '' he is dam right, you go kill yourself kid! what were you thinking to go and steal his kills? whats wrong with you? what kind of a monster are you?'' or im overreacting here?

    yes i know.. i dont know if he is a 10 year old or a 40 year old.. but i dont really care about it either
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  16. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by shirochan57 View Post
    It is interesting that of all my posts You took that particular sentence.
    You are forgetting about the context.

    If Im attacking sth and You come along, you may do that of course. but I may not like it so I may choose to go elsewhere.
    but if You follow and interrupt me again, I change the place again and You follow again, I change instance and You follow me still, I tell You to leave me alone and You dont listen,
    then yes, I would feel harassed

    and remind me what gives you the right to talk like that to a person?
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  17. #97
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    Humor Jokes, and all kinds of crudeness aside, telling someone to kill themselves is against the ToS and CoD, it is a reportable and bannable offence in DDO and every MMO that wants to be mainstream, and "I was joking" is not a defense, the GM's, CS, and most of the people who work for MMO's don't find that kind of stuff funny.

    If anything, Zee saved that member of her group from getting a long vacation from the game, they should be thankful for that.

  18. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emerge2012 View Post
    ...If you tell her she stinks it's not bullying, it's constructive criticism....
    There is a difference between bullying and constructive criticism. For example, if you say something along the lines of "Hey, b*&%$, you need to take a &*($ shower and clean your $%@*!@ self up - and don't come back until you do!", well that'd be more along the lines of bullying and, more importantly, is not going to achieve the result you seek - which is her putting more time and effort into her personal hygiene.

    On the other hand, if you phrase it more politely , you can convey a sense you care about the person and their well-being (even if you do not) and this will help you to achieve your goal of her improving her personal hygiene. And yes, I lack an example because it is incredibly difficult to inform someone else (especially a stranger) that their personal hygiene is below acceptable levels without coming off as a complete jackwagon.

    Personally, this is a very interesting theoretical situation you chose since I happened to be in exactly that situation a few years ago. I was in line behind a very overweight woman and her not-quite-as-overweight daughter (who could not have been more than about 11 years old). Both of their hygiene was sub-standard and, on top of it, their carts (two or three, I forget which) were loaded to the top with frozen food. I wanted really badly to inform the mother about both the hygiene issue and the fact that her dietary choices for herself and her daughter were contributing to their weight problems. However, I said nothing because there is no way to educate someone about these things without being perceived as completely rude, arrogant, and an a******, even though all I wanted to do was to help them. (and yes, I am aware I am coming across as completely rude, arrogant, and an a****** right now for recounting this experience to you all)
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    People get mad in Mabar because they don't understand the mechanic (not that it's ever been explained in game). It's not kill-stealing, and at it's worst it can only be roll-stealing. Tag a mob with damage, you get a collectible roll when they die. Who kills them is absolutely immaterial to the collectible mechanic, they just have to be killed at some point. The past lone exception to that rule was the lich (which auto-granted lich dust to the first person scoring damage), but that's changed now and a different mob drops lich dust that works the same as any other collectible roll.

    A responsible sorc/wiz should turn down/off their spell power boosters so that tagging large groups of mobs doesn't do but minimal damage to them so other casters and melee can tag them as well. The only way someone should be able to annoy is if they're over-damaging every mob so that no one else gets to tag them before they go down. My guess is the offender actually had zero knowlege about the roll mechanic. I would've just asked them to turn down the damage on their spells.

  20. #100
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    wow. lotta emotions runnin high in this one today...


    "go kill yourself" is never ever a good joke... and it still shocks me that anyone would seriously think it was. (altho oddly, "DIAF" IS taken as a joke... and is recognized as such.)


    telling a griefer "hey d-bag what's your problem? GT*O leave us alone and DIAF" wouldn't get me to even bat an eyelash.


    OP... i recommend you take that particular joke out of your arsenal... it's not funny. really it isn't. otherwise, carry on

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