There were probably about six kids in detention after school, including myself. Mr. Heward walked into the room and stood in front of us with a huge smile on his face with his hands brought up expansively, palms first like some kind of politician that had pulled off a huge coup and said:
"Today's detention: Ten observations from the inside of a ping pong ball"
It took me less than a minute to humour him and be on my way home
It was a beautiful summers day. me and this other kid were outside the detention room when Reecy (Mr Reece) strolled up, taking his time trying hard not to look like Oliver Reed (he had the big, log moustache that made him look like a mountie). He sort of posed and said:
"Are you two on detention?"
In unison "Yes, sir"
he took two pieces of paper and pens and handed them to us before continuing:
"You see that tree?". He pointed to the tree right in front of us
"Count the leaves on that before I get back"
Reecy then proceeded to go back to the staff room to have a cup of tea. Me and this other kid just looked at each other and in the moment shared a conversation in silence
/is he on crack?
Ok then! Well, we just sat down on the grass and chilled out. I took a blade of grass and chewed on it for about twenty minutes until my P.I.C. (partner in crime) chirped:
"Quick, Reecy's coming back!"
We got up. I scribbled some crayp down on the paper.
Reecy looked me straight in the eye and asked:
"Have you counted the leaves on that tree yet?"
Me: "No, sir"
Reecy: "What have you got up to?"
Me (feigning, looking at paper): "Err, 1249, sir"
Reecy: "Alright you can go home"
.../what are you doing you insane nutter, this is meant to be punishment?!
Easily, the most ridiculous detention of all time.