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  1. #1
    Community Member Ironclans_evil_twin's Avatar
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    Default I've taken the liberty of making a monday itinarary for all of you:

    * First off go to work or otherwise ignore DDO until at least 3PM/After getting off work (minimum 5 hours after scheduled maintenance is supposed to end).
    * Log into forums and read the first post that says "still down" check time stamp.
    * Go to plan A or B

    Plan A) Figure out what movie you're going to watch tonight/Restaurant you'll take your S/O to.
    * Check forums occasionally from phone: if still down, go back to plan A if up, check for "long logins and delays" posts before abandoning plan A. Consider if you wish to accept frustration potential of sitting in slow login que. Also potential for lag and server crashes when you do get in. Oh and I guess also consider significant other frustration potential for cutting "date night" short.

    Plan B) spend all day/night posting on forums.
    * Check forums frequently: if still down, go back to plan B, consider last minute switch to plan A. If up, check for "long logins and delays" posts if you still wish to proceed accept frustration potential of sitting in que.

    Spicing up plan B: For those of you set on Plan B, and in the interest of peak angst and hand ringing, so as to get Turbine to give free loot/XP bonuses and TP consider doing one or more of the following to make your belly aching sound more impressive and notch up the emotional drama:

    * Take a Flex day/Sick day/Vacation day off from work
    * Beg out of important social commitment (funerals, weddings etc.)
    * Give away your pre-season tickets and blab to football buddies that you're staying home to play Dungeons and Dragons!!!! This will add "WHAT HAVE I DONE" emotional abuse to the next time you meet up with the guys, which you will realize approximately half way through tomorrow, adding to the emotional pitch and tenor of your posts.
    * Invite lots of gaming buddies to log in to DDO for the first time, this will add "way to make me look bad Turbine"
    * Related: plan and schedule a big "guild day" of raiding for tomorrow.
    * Make up something dramatic "I left my dieing Grandparents in the hospital to play!!!" it doesn't need to be believable no one will take it seriously even if it is.
    * Rant and rave about how your job as a spread sheet programmer that required 2 years of community college would be in jeopardy if you missed a deadline by 5+ hours.

    All of these tips are intended to ensure we the player base enjoy as much free TP's and added "bonus days" of higher XP and loot bonuses as we possibly can as compensation for the "extended downtime" that we TOTALLY DIDN'T KNOW WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. So in the interest of that we will also need:

    * Fanboys to ratchet up the chivalry, it would help if you all would please yell "I SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR THE HONOR OF TURBINE" or some other "once more into the breach" war cry before every "battle"
    * Haters, you're not left out either, your role is vital, lots of demands for firings and hiring 7-11 staff and monkeys as replacements.
    * even those of us who consider ourselves "above the fray" can contribute by being kinda ******y and dismissive towards both Haters and Fanboys ... hmmm okay consider this my contribution to the cause.


    Alternate plan:
    The maintenance actually ends when scheduled and there's no crashes/major brokeness/long lines to get in: In that case pinch yourself self wake up from dream and check forums for "still down" posts. Decide on plan A or B.
    Last edited by Ironclans_evil_twin; 08-18-2013 at 01:53 PM.

  2. #2
    Community Member
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    Default So...

    you've been here before?

    Don't forget to leave the launcher up so it can auto-update while you are at work. This way you can come home to find there was a power outage, and you need wait on the update anyway.
    http://myaccount.turbine.com

    Je ne suis pas
    DDO Alpha Tester

  3. #3
    Uber Uber Completionist
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    Deadlock's Avatar
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    Default

    I was just going to sit with my atomic clock and start flaming the forums the picosecond that the servers aren't back up.

    We do have a static group getting together at 7pm UK time, so if you could have it up in plenty of time for everyone to get their client updated and logged in on time then that would be great. So obviously if it's not up in time for that, then it'll be a personal attack on me. Probably a conspiracy.

  4. #4
    Community Member Postumus's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadlock View Post
    I was just going to sit with my atomic clock and start flaming the forums the picosecond that the servers aren't back up.

    We do have a static group getting together at 7pm UK time, so if you could have it up in plenty of time for everyone to get their client updated and logged in on time then that would be great. So obviously if it's not up in time for that, then it'll be a personal attack on me. Probably a conspiracy.

    Since I live in the Pacific time zone, the flames have usually fanned and smoldered by the time I ever log in. Of course it means most of the players have identified the major problems as well as workarounds for them, but I almost never get to help throw fuel on the fire!


    That is the true conspiracy.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deadlock View Post
    I was just going to sit with my atomic clock and start flaming the forums the picosecond that the servers aren't back up.

    We do have a static group getting together at 7pm UK time, so if you could have it up in plenty of time for everyone to get their client updated and logged in on time then that would be great. So obviously if it's not up in time for that, then it'll be a personal attack on me. Probably a conspiracy.
    This has been logged by the NSA.
    http://myaccount.turbine.com

    Je ne suis pas
    DDO Alpha Tester

  6. #6
    Community Member Ironclans_evil_twin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deadlock View Post
    So obviously if it's not up in time for that, then it'll be a personal attack on me. Probably a conspiracy.
    Almost certainly!

  7. #7
    Community Member protokon's Avatar
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    Default

    plan A for me is to finally fix my own forums.

    Plan B is to play minecraft.
    Proud member of Renowned, Thelanis server.

  8. #8
    Community Member bsquishwizzy's Avatar
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    Default

    I was going to pick plan B, but also add something about primal scream therapy, and soiling my trousers.


    Hey...it works for me...

  9. #9
    Community Member Philibusta's Avatar
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    Default

    I like your Plan, Ironclan!

    Although....it seems a little bit.....complicated, for some. Too much detail. Too many options. You've got to remember, there's a large segment of the DDO playerbase that is of the "if it's not exactly this then it's gimp" mentality, and they don't like options. Options simply confuse them.

    So, in the interest of the "ok I killed it what do I get next ok I killed it what do I get next ok I killed it..." ADD crowd, I've come up with a simplified version:

    1. Don't log in to DDO on Monday. Simple enough? OK...stay with me here...

    2. Set launcher to download update before going to bed Monday night.

    3. Get up Tuesday morning, go to work, come home.

    4. Eat dinner..play with dog...

    5. Log in to DDO.

    6. See all the stuff completely unrelated in any way to the expansion, that is now broken.

    7. See the Enhancement Pass. Realize how much work it will take to respec ALL your toons.

    8. See the Enhancement Pass. Realize the game has now become a WoW-like clickfest of "clicky" abilities.

    9. Shut down DDO. Google "MMO" and look for something new to play.

    There. Simple. You're All Welcome.
    Last edited by Philibusta; 08-18-2013 at 08:19 PM.
    All that is wrong with DDO, life, taxes, poltics, religion, music, fast food, education, the criminal justice system, the weather, society, the universe, and previously-discontinued-but-now-on-their-way-back snack cakes, is all the fault of Wizards of the Coast. I know this because Fred told me so, and Mind Flayers are smart.

  10. #10
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    I SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR THE HONOR OF TURBINE!!!!!!!


    It is never too early!


    P.S. Haters gonna hate!!!!

  11. #11
    Community Member Teh_Troll's Avatar
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    Double post.
    Last edited by Teh_Troll; 08-18-2013 at 08:37 PM.

  12. #12
    Community Member Teh_Troll's Avatar
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    I plan to troll, I like to set the bar lower for the rest of humanity.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teh_Troll View Post
    I plan to troll, I like to set the bar lower for the rest of humanity.
    LEAVE TURBINE ALONE, SHE IS JUST HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME, YOU KNOW!!!!!


    (Is my part of the ench pass drama done by this or???)

  14. #14
    The Hatchery kierg10's Avatar
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    Default

    Plan A: sit on the computer doing nothing (i.e., playing DDO)

    Plan B: Be slightly annoyed that DDO isn't up yet, but still sitting on the computer doing nothing (i.e., watching tv or movies)

    just to take what I'm gonna be doing into perspective :P
    Ckarlock Alarm (PDK bard 7 fighter 6 rogue 2) life 17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Memnir View Post
    What I think is OP is anyone who uses implemented game mechanics, standard game features, or their own skill to be more effective in quests then I am - so I then find the time to post complaints about their use of implemented game mechanics, standard game features, or their own skill thus making me OP on the forums.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bridge_Dweller View Post
    Here's a new flash for the people who have not evolved and still play sponge toons: you serve no purpose. it's rude, but it's the truth. Divines are powerful, have been for a long time. They don't need you. If you need them you add no value to the group.

  15. #15
    Hero AZgreentea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tscheuss View Post
    you've been here before?

    Don't forget to leave the launcher up so it can auto-update while you are at work. This way you can come home to find there was a power outage, and you need wait on the update anyway.
    Or that the initial update that was pushed out is tainted and everyone that used it will need a work around while they fix the client.

    Of course that only happened once. Of course it was the one time when they managed to push the update out before I left for work, and I got to read about it all day.

    Either way, I pike from work now.
    The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out. Every mind is a building filled with archaic furniture. Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.
    Dee Hock

  16. #16
    Blogger and Hatchery Hero
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    in plan B you forgot to include a few overseas people complaining that all updates happen on bank holidays during their prime playtime or something like that

    the official home of LOLWUT

    LONG LIVE R.O.G.U.E ! Pay2Win AND PROUD
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  17. #17
    Community Member Charononus's Avatar
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    You forgot to include the forum rage that gianthold is closed shortly after the update opens.

  18. #18
    Hero DanteEnFuego's Avatar
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    MY SHIP AMENITIES ARE GONE !!!

    okay, I feel better...
    "The lion cannot protect himself from traps, and the fox cannot defend himself from wolves. One must therefore be a fox to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten wolves." Niccolò Machiavelli
    Thelanis: Arbix Completionist (23rd Life), ArbySoul, ArbyBarb, ArbyPriest, Arbificer etc.

  19. #19
    Community Member Charononus's Avatar
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    Want to make bets that within a week there are threads asking why they buffed juggs, and crying for them to be nerfed?

  20. #20
    Community Member goodspeed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charononus View Post
    You forgot to include the forum rage that gianthold is closed shortly after the update opens.
    I thought update time was standard. stay logged off, let the remaining masses suffer the bug infecting updates that will probably be repatched to fix whatever the first update did to hundreds of clients, and then let the rest fumble around finding the horror bugs or results of them the hard way.

    Then 2 or 3 days later, log into the launcher where the new redone game update waits and read about the sad and angry tales of things not to do in game that would result in xp loss, or a bank to disappear, or have a character wiped away from existence while it downloads.
    Through avarice, evil smiles; through insanity, it sings.

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