Page 6 of 7 FirstFirst ... 234567 LastLast
Results 101 to 120 of 138
  1. #101
    Community Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    29

    Default

    You can be quite sure that it is more of an inferiority issue. No one is supposed to get the idea that they may not have had intercourse, be gay, weak, not have a decent RL or whatever because they feel vulnerable in that regard.
    Leads to constant boasting on their own abilities and deeds, degrading of others to prevent people from associating them with such things.

    Cant really say that I have encountered that in DDO yet (Not really done lots of epics though), every now and then some grumpys on a schedule that seemed to "play" the game like they were in some kind of a sweatshop and have to tread the mill all day long was the worst so far.

  2. #102
    The Hatchery Enoach's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    4,953

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Charononus View Post
    It's just as much of a slur, ask anyone with a special needs child in their family.
    Or anyone that works with these people, both in the medical as well as in the support structure.

    Personally I think the reason one has such a outspoken group and the other does not, deals more with one group actually being more tolerant than the other. But don't tell the other group, because they will find the need to yell and scream and make a ruckus about how tolerant and sensitive they are.

  3. #103
    Community Member Vint's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Posts
    3,598

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by myliftkk_v2 View Post
    Actually many disabled groups would and are equally offended. Part of the difference in the response is indicative of the relative differences in political power of the offendeds to recapture/alter the current lingustic usage.

    Without getting into an entire discusison of the politics of lingustics, if you're really interested on understanding how this happens, read E. Said's book Orientalism.
    I understand and I mean no disrespect to anyone by the comment. Someone in my family is also special needs and I can relate to people on this. It is also not my point to make light of the scenario.

    I take this all with a grain of salt. I am not easily offended (outside of people mocking my Beagles). My only point is that you can look thru threads and see where people will be called a dummy and we skim over like no big deal. Yet, you see someone use the “slur” word and we are all up in arms.

    I understand the whole Politically correct, religious, government, and other thing that we are not allowed to discuss here. We follow as society dictates. As time evolves so do we. You would never hear beaver on “Leave it to beaver” say ass, but fast forward 50 years and all is good.
    Flabby-Flaber-Flabo--Heifer-Oinks

    LEGION

  4. #104
    Community Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    385

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by myliftkk_v2 View Post
    Experiencing!=Thinking

    I can think the moon is made of cheese. I could experience it is quite clearly not if I were lucky enough to have been an astronaut at the right time. Or, I could think the lunar landings were a government plot. I may come to the same conclusion through both methods, but they're hardly the same.

    Animals have societies, and societies have rules/laws/norms, though we could discuss at long lengths the whys around those developments. If anything, the ubiquity of Discovery Channel shows make this feature of the animal kingdom clear, and fascinating. I'm certainly a diehard post-modernist, a place I would never try to convince you, nor anyone else, to get to, unless you're willing to cast off nearly everything you believe as a construct.
    You could never experience the surface of the moon. I never thought it was made of cheese and I didn't have to experience this. They are exactly the same in context you used to give us your personal thoughts, perceptions, and feelings on Americans

  5. #105
    Community Member Beethoven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    formerly Austria, now US
    Posts
    914

    Default

    Op,what you are experiencing is various versions of a bunch of guys (and the occasional girl) enjoying a common past time. The internet is more than anonymity. It also allows us to enjoy our hobby from our own living room (or hobby/office space).

    So, it shouldn't be at all surprising that you encounter a similar language like someone would be using during a get-together in their own home. Go to various homes during Superbowl season (or Soccer World Championship) and you will find groups of guys (an the occasional girl) use a very similar language. The same holds true when a bunch of dudes watch movies together, bbq, play poker or whatever else is their fancy. Why would gaming be any different?

    Quote Originally Posted by SerPounce View Post
    Gaming culture can indeed be pretty vile, particularly among the insular hardcore crowd.
    So what you are saying individuals who discriminate against a specific subculture (ie: homosexuals) by insinuating they are inferior or vile should be dealt with harshly?
    What about if they discriminate against a different subculture, say, (hardcore) gamers like you just did by calling them largely vile as general statement?

    You want equality, how about letting people talk how they want.

    Case in point, my wife gets to make fun of the way (most) guys measure (ie: men measurement), but I cannot tell someone they throw like a girl? How is that fair?
    I may not use the "g" word, but homosexuals get to make fun of straight guys' fashion sense and personal hygiene?

    See I actually do know some gay guys (and they are perfectly fine with me calling them that). We have a very simple understanding. I get to use the g* word and even use it in derogatory fashion and they in turn get to make fun of the way (some) straight guys dress (or smell). This way we can all be friends and have a good time over a couple beers.

    I will take any bet that if they start getting on my case about not always using the most political correct language and I would insist on them being censured and severely punished whenever they use "straight" in anything but the most respectful fashion, we wouldn't be getting along half as well (likely, not even at all).

    Me and my wife have the same understanding: she gets to make fun of "typical guy" things/behavior and I get to tell people they throw/play/giggle/scream like girls.

    Similarly, there is an as simple way dealing with things in-games. You join a group who use a language you don't like, excuse yourself and drop group. It's your group, someone joins and then uses a behavior you find unacceptable tell him/her to tone it down and if they refuse drop them.

    The real issue usually comes from individuals who run around the internet insisting everyone who does not ascribe to their views and/or lifestyle needs to be censored.
    Characters on Sarlona: Ungnad (Morninglord, Wizard 17 / Favored Soul 2 / Fighter 1) -- Baerktghar (Dwarf, Paladin 18 / Fighter 2) -- Simulacruhm (Bladeforged, Artificer 16 / Paladin 3 / Wizard 1)

    No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other.
    -- Jascha Heifetz

  6. #106
    Community Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    London, Great Britain
    Posts
    169

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hendrik View Post
    Isn't the anonymity of the interweb fun!

    People use that cloak of anonymity to say and do things that would get them arrested or get the **** kicked out of them if said in a public setting.

    Only thing you can do while in DDO to combat this is to use the Report Harassment feature in chat and/or ignore the pugtard.
    Hear, hear.

  7. #107
    Community Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    684

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vint View Post
    I understand and I mean no disrespect to anyone by the comment. Someone in my family is also special needs and I can relate to people on this. It is also not my point to make light of the scenario.

    I take this all with a grain of salt. I am not easily offended (outside of people mocking my Beagles). My only point is that you can look thru threads and see where people will be called a dummy and we skim over like no big deal. Yet, you see someone use the “slur” word and we are all up in arms.

    I understand the whole Politically correct, religious, government, and other thing that we are not allowed to discuss here. We follow as society dictates. As time evolves so do we. You would never hear beaver on “Leave it to beaver” say ass, but fast forward 50 years and all is good.
    I don't think asking why there's a difference is an illegimate or offensive question. People often do, or get angry because they struggle to comprehend the mechanics at play as there's not an easy frame of reference to put what's occuring into to explain it.

    I'm just pointing out there's been decades of recent scholarship, granted of the kind that would bore most readers into a coma, that has been done to explain lingustics, the power politics of such, its affect on societies, how previously marginalized groups reclaim their lingustic power and hence real political power, etc. But, don't start down that path of learning unless you're willing to untether your mind.

    One of my favorite professor's growing up used to warn if you weren't careful, a post-modernist could convince himself a man lying dying in front of you on the sidewalk was just a construct of the mind.

  8. #108
    Community Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    684

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rubbinns View Post
    You could never experience the surface of the moon. I never thought it was made of cheese and I didn't have to experience this. They are exactly the same in context you used to give us your personal thoughts, perceptions, and feelings on Americans
    I extrapolated from my physical experience, why it was qualified after all, which is different than just thinking or reading something and deciding to believe it. You actually would have no idea whether I'm American or not, since I only stated I've crossed cultural boundaries via travel quite often. You can't just substitute thinking for experiencing and claim it's an even swap. In fact, my friend has been trying to have me come stay with him in "The Hooch" (Ho Chi Minh) where he works remotely because you can live like a king while getting paid in the almighty dollar. Not sure about the quality of the DDO connection there though.

    As I said, I'm open to someone extrapolating differently from their experience at the hands of marauding trash talking DDO Germans/Brazilians/Koreans/Italians/Tobagoans (today's Germans mind you, not ones of yore ). Just folding your arms and claiming "it's human nature", takes no critical thinking at all.

    *And don't claim I can't experience the moon. There decent odds humans may get tourist space travel after all.

  9. #109
    Community Member NaturalHazard's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    8,866

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Khanan View Post
    Hey everyone,just had something iv been thinking about lately and thought maybe posting here and getting some feedback would help get it off my mind. As of late i have been doing alot of pugging as most of my guildies are pretty busy over the summer,and iv noticed a disturbing trend among many players,especially while raiding with high level raiding guilds late at night.There just seems to be alot of sexism and intolerance(the latter especially towards homosexuals). I time and time again hear players talk amongst themselves "what are you gay? do you like D*$#% or something?" or flip and call a monster a *** when they(ding!)die.(iv also noticed that with many elite-ist power gamers in the higher lvl guilds their superiorty issues transfer directly to there sexual views) .Or being called a little 'girl' because you dont want to run something on EE,because that is somehow a lesser being and an insult. Also the dialog that ensues anytime there is (OMG!) an actual female in the party is downright sad sometimes,with several males in the group getting super excited and it all culminating in nothing less than out right sexual harrassment. But iv found more often than not the females just take it with a grain of salt or actually enjoy all of the attention or even reciprocate the sexual inuendo.
    Even the term "gamer girl" kinda bugs me,like its some kind of special needs thing,why cant she just be another gamer?

    Maybe its just the playerbase of DDO,iv noticed at 25 yrs. old im at the young end of the spectrum on my server,perhaps it is just remnants of times past,remnants of the 50s,60s,and 70s when such things were typical and accepted. its still bothers me though,that this community seems to be so behind the times...

    p.s. keep in mind that i am a straight male and have not been victim to any of this(other than having to witness it) this is just my observation.
    I have come across this type of thing while playing DDO but to be honest for me it has been rare. I wonder what server you are on OP? This community is pretty tame compared to others iv'e tried out. And usually in a raid theres one or more female voices players in it, and its not that rare for 1 to be in a party either. When I have seen harassment the females friends in group turn on the guy and told him to F off.

    Also are you sure that all the cases you have witnessed have been real? Some of the girls have known the guys in the groups for years and they have a lot of banter between each other, that an outsider might not get. And there might be sexual banter between males as well and often like a game, its to have a laugh and to see who can make the other person more uncomfortable but this is also often between groups of people who know each other well. But I can see how this could make non *straight* person feel uncomfortable, and thats not good.

    As for me I have gone to school with fafafines and some have been class mates and friends, the closest term I can come up with is transgender males. I have dated and been friends with Bi-sexual girls/women, flated with a lesbian couple, and a homosexual guy. But I think a lot of intolerance comes from younger people just as much older people. And I know a few people who suffer from various degrees of homophobia lol.

    The worst thing that has happened to me on DDO is someone calling me a racial slur, or using a bunch of racial slurs over voice chat. Those people where reported and made the special list, thats two incidents the whole time iv'e played DDO, in that period of time in RL ive prob come across that sort of thing at least half a dozen times. I think in general the DDO community is better than most gaming communities and what some people who play actually might have to put up with in RL. But thats just from my experiences in game and on the forums.
    Last edited by NaturalHazard; 08-06-2013 at 08:54 PM.

  10. #110
    Community Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    385

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by myliftkk_v2 View Post
    I extrapolated from my physical experience, why it was qualified after all, which is different than just thinking or reading something and deciding to believe it..
    Not different on the post in question in your context. Within a personal life belief formed from a limited interaction on playground parks. Also, physical experience for what you described is widely vague and ambiguous a term. And, again quantified from a sparse collection of a few parks. in an unknown time line, across a very, very, very small percentage of the world.

    Quote Originally Posted by myliftkk_v2 View Post

    As I said, I'm open to someone extrapolating differently from their experience at the hands of marauding trash talking DDO Germans/Brazilians/Koreans/Italians/Tobagoans (today's Germans mind you, not ones of yore ). Just folding your arms and claiming "it's human nature", takes no critical thinking at all.
    It isn't logical, but based on personal feelings. As if somehow other parts of the world are not as competitive, aggressive, crude, and impetuous. All because you played a game at a few parks at different places....


    Quote Originally Posted by myliftkk_v2 View Post

    *And don't claim I can't experience the moon. There decent odds humans may get tourist space travel after all.
    Uhh, no.
    You cannot, right now experience the surface of the moon.

  11. #111
    Community Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    57

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by myliftkk_v2 View Post
    if you're really interested on understanding how this happens, read E. Said's book Orientalism.
    I would, but that book sounds racist!

  12. #112
    Community Member wildbynature's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    310

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TheLegendOfAra View Post
    I agree with this 100% Prep.

    As a Bi-Sexual Female gamer(Who doesn't hide it), you would think I get a lot of the "abuse" going on in game. But I don't. Don't get me wrong, I've had my run ins with the a**holes, and the jerks a few times and I've dealt with them quickly and appropriately. And never had problems with them again. But in the 3 years I've played this game, I've run into these problems 3 times. That's 1 a year. By anyones standards that's not that much.

    The best thing you can do when you come across these people in game is this:
    Report
    Squelch
    Inform said players guild leader
    inform your group of friends/guilds/channels.

    You go girl! As one of Khybers openly bisexual female players, I figured I'd add my 2 cp, but you pretty much summed up my argument for me. I enjoy a little banter every now and then. I may be doing the same man's laundry for the rest of my life, but I don't see the problem with a little harmless joking so long as that's as far as it goes.

    In two years of playing, there have only been two people who have made me truly uncomfortable. They were both very young, and I think the problem was that they didn't stop when they were asked. I get uncomfortable more frequently going to wal-mart, though.

    I think its easy to blame the Internet or human behavior whenever we get uncomfortable with something over ddo. The importan thing to remember is that the person on the other side of the Internet connection deserves as much respect as you would give anyone else no matter what their opinions are. You have no idea what kind of an upbringing they have or what they're dealing with. The only thing you can do is try to give them a chance and think the best of them.
    --Pealea, Peawee, worldpeas, givepeas achance, and whoopea on Khyber

  13. #113
    Community Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Martialis View Post
    The trouble is, your idea of what is appropriate and my idea of what is appropriate are two very different things (and I can confidently say that, even though I don't know you, from the content of your post). So now you are going to tell me what I can and can't do and what I can and can't say and where I can and can't do things, just because your own sense of moral righteous indignation tells you that you should? YOU, who, by your own admission, took a job where you were either killing real-life human beings, or supporting those who did so? Really?

    Look, people need an outlet. What I say shouldn't matter at all to you. Words can't hurt you. If you get your panties all twisted in a knot, it's not my problem that you are so sensitive, it's yours.

    What really bugs me is people who get offended "for" other people. This young girl that I was training at work was very offended by an offhand comment I made about the two gentlemen who live next door to me who seem to be of questionable sexual orientation. Fine, I'm offended that you are offended. Thankfully, I have had to have almost nothing to do with her since the training period ended.

    See, it works both ways, you want to be a self-righteous, overly-sensitive, politically-correct ass, I don't have to associate with you either.

    Jesus, get over yourselves, and stop thinking the world revolves around you, or even cares what you think. It doesn't.

    This thread was bound to have some people that are supportive of sexism/homophobia.

    The trouble isn't the OP's idea of what is appropriate. The trouble is YOUR idea of what is appropriate.

    People need an outlet? An outlet to be racist, homophopic and sexist? That doesn't make any sense.

    Maybe the reason that your co-worker was offended FOR other people, is because there is a possibility that she cares about people that are lgbtq. People are allowed to care for people. You obviously are so far up your own ass that you think it's okay to be hateful towards a group of humans that doesn't match your idea or "normal". Well, to use your own words, do you have the right to say what we can and can't be offended by? Also, who are you to question what anyone does sexually? Are you the sex police? You have this uncontrollable need to judge what people do in their private lives? It's none of your business. And it's not your place to comment on it either, regardless of how amazingly high and mighty you think you are.

    I feel sorry that your co worker has to even encounter you.

    Why don't you get over yourself, and stop justifying yours and others' oppressive behavior. Because it's not 1950 anymore.

  14. #114
    Community Member toaftoaf's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    628

    Default as nigel from spinal tap would say

    " whats wrong with being sexy in a MMO" sorry, it had to be said

  15. #115
    Community Member Charononus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    5,345

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KodamaBot View Post
    This thread was bound to have some people that are supportive of sexism/homophobia.

    The trouble isn't the OP's idea of what is appropriate. The trouble is YOUR idea of what is appropriate.

    People need an outlet? An outlet to be racist, homophopic and sexist? That doesn't make any sense.

    Maybe the reason that your co-worker was offended FOR other people, is because there is a possibility that she cares about people that are lgbtq. People are allowed to care for people. You obviously are so far up your own ass that you think it's okay to be hateful towards a group of humans that doesn't match your idea or "normal". Well, to use your own words, do you have the right to say what we can and can't be offended by? Also, who are you to question what anyone does sexually? Are you the sex police? You have this uncontrollable need to judge what people do in their private lives? It's none of your business. And it's not your place to comment on it either, regardless of how amazingly high and mighty you think you are.

    I feel sorry that your co worker has to even encounter you.

    Why don't you get over yourself, and stop justifying yours and others' oppressive behavior. Because it's not 1950 anymore.
    Sometimes people are just bad, the poster you quoted is, don't know if it's nature or nurture, but they're someone I wouldn't want anything to do with and would probably fire if I heard them talking to another employee like that in a work setting.

  16. #116
    Community Member Jeremiah179's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    232

    Default

    I will add to the several who stated:

    I have not experienced this with the people I play with. I have accidentally, occasionally found myself in a semi-pug that was more foul than I cared for...

    Humping Ana... saying a few things that were uncalled for... swearing a bit much for my tastes...etc. I finish the quest, move on and avoid them in the future.

    ***

    Quite frankly, I would support the notion of healers being abused and mistreated as players more than the notion that women gamers or alternate lifestyle gamers are mistreated? Maybe even bards get mistreated more...hmmm

    ***

    Last I will agree with an earlier poster - why do I know your gay/lesbian anyhow? Does not have much to do with the game, I do not talk about sexual relations with my wife in game chat? I do not want to hear yours, and to be clear, I do not want to hear about other peoples of any category either... I want you to get your buffs so we can start the quest... and the rest I try to tolerate and try to be understanding and thick skinned due to the environment...
    Jeremiiah - Isaiiah - Zephaniiah - Ghallanda - Old Timers Guild

  17. #117
    Community Member susiedupfer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    899

    Default

    I did not read all replies, so this may be repetitive.

    Right clicking someone's name in chat and hitting report harassment does NOT get the attention of anyone. It merely gets them on your squelch list. If you really need to report something, take a screenshot and come to the forum section of support. Fill out the form there.

    Next, I do not want ANYONE'S personal preferences shoved in my face in game. I will treat you like a human being, you treat me the same way. Simple and easy. You keep your derogatory comments and flirtation to your personal life, please.

    I must say, however, that Orien is getting better. The reactions to a female voice over party chat have become much less sexual over the last 3 years. Now, when I get an inappropriate comment, there is often a tell from them or someone else in party with an apology fairly quickly without me saying a word. Now, if we can get all the other sexist comments stopped, it will truly be a better place.
    Orien: Zizie, Zeelee, Zeeny, Zeety, Zeleste, Zeeby
    ?

  18. #118
    Community Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    207

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beethoven View Post
    So what you are saying individuals who discriminate against a specific subculture (ie: homosexuals) by insinuating they are inferior or vile should be dealt with harshly?
    Discriminating against people because of specific bad behavior is entirely different than discriminating based on characteristics. By your logic we shouldn't "discriminate" against thieves by putting them in jail. You can control your behavior, you can't control your race, gender, or sexual orientation.
    Gildus, Sabathiel, Einion, Yhvain

    Cannith

  19. #119
    Community Member Garix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,008

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SerPounce View Post
    SNIP* you can't control your race, gender, or sexual orientation.
    Fairly sure FOX news disagrees with the last part of your statement!

    While there is much to be said for the quotation "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" even more could come from drawing a line under large parts of history.

    So many groups still hold views that were outdated 20+ years ago there is never going to be true equality without discrimination. If said groups could be convinced to give up their particular soap boxes, this planet could be whole nicer place.

    Thing is, it could never happen. Unless your prepared to live under totalitarian rule with every thought and deed under strict control.

    I hope it never happens. So for now I just squelch/walk away/ignore/rip of their arms and beat them to death with the soggy end, move on and rejoice in the fact that were all different.
    Leader of Shrodingers Cat Support Group a Husband and Wife guild on Orien.
    Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Sir Winston Churchill

  20. #120
    Community Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    207

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Garix View Post
    Fairly sure FOX news disagrees with the last part of your statement!

    While there is much to be said for the quotation "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" even more could come from drawing a line under large parts of history.

    So many groups still hold views that were outdated 20+ years ago there is never going to be true equality without discrimination. If said groups could be convinced to give up their particular soap boxes, this planet could be whole nicer place.

    Thing is, it could never happen. Unless your prepared to live under totalitarian rule with every thought and deed under strict control.

    I hope it never happens. So for now I just squelch/walk away/ignore/rip of their arms and beat them to death with the soggy end, move on and rejoice in the fact that were all different.
    We'll also never eliminate murder or theft. Does that means we should just throw our hands up and "ignore" it?
    Gildus, Sabathiel, Einion, Yhvain

    Cannith

Page 6 of 7 FirstFirst ... 234567 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

This form's session has expired. You need to reload the page.

Reload