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Thread: LGBT Players?!

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    Community Member DiamondPrinceJC's Avatar
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    Wink LGBT Players?!

    If you were wondering where the "gaymers" are, there are players most likely on each server. I have heard of guilds in the past on Sarlona and Thelanis and Cannith that were LGBT guilds even. Check the forums and Search for LGBT. Just letting you know that you are not alone. Feel free to shoot me a Lightening Rail to Aztoth if you need help with something.

  2. #2
    2016 DDO Players Council PsychoBlonde's Avatar
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    Last I checked you don't play this game with your genitals so why does this matter in the slightest?
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    Community Member DiamondPrinceJC's Avatar
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    Guilds are not about dating or flirting, they are about fellowship. Some people feel more comfortable about people they are most like. Like the saying goes, "birds of a feather flock together..."

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    Community Member AbyssalMage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PsychoBlonde View Post
    Last I checked you don't play this game with your genitals so why does this matter in the slightest?
    Although I agree with the statement, it doesn't answer why...
    • All girl/boy guilds (Toon and/or RL)
    • All WF guilds (Heard about an all Drow guild but never actually seen it)
    • All adult guilds (no kids)

    Ive seen these and others that I am sure Turbine shut down for breaking policy. Other than WF only guilds, what exactly do they have to do with Eberron?

    What ever makes a person most comfortable I guess while playing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AbyssalMage View Post
    Although I agree with the statement, it doesn't answer why...
    • All girl/boy guilds (Toon and/or RL)
    • All WF guilds (Heard about an all Drow guild but never actually seen it)
    • All adult guilds (no kids)

    Ive seen these and others that I am sure Turbine shut down for breaking policy. Other than WF only guilds, what exactly do they have to do with Eberron?

    What ever makes a person most comfortable I guess while playing.
    I guess some guild "requirement" are more for playability. WF guild is kind of obvious (healing: repair etc), adult only: no drama? (not saying everyone under 19 are childish, I know some ppl my age who can get worse than a 13year old kid :P)

    I dont mind you guys wanting to be together (my best friend is also a "gaymer"), but it kinda feel like if people where making heterosexual guild only... its kinda sounds a "black only" or "white only" guild. They may feel more comfortable together, but its kinda... racist? (or homophobic/heterophobic?)

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    Community Member Noctus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PsychoBlonde View Post
    Last I checked you don't play this game with your genitals so why does this matter in the slightest?
    My thoughts exactly.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondPrinceJC View Post
    Just letting you know that you are not alone. Feel free to shoot me a Lightening Rail to Aztoth if you need help with something.
    Hmmm.... not sure what is being said here, however if one reviews the community terms and conditions, there is nothing that prohibits the promotion of said activity. In fact, it actually omits anything to do with pro-sexuality groups and discussions.
    7. You may not form or participate in groups whose ideology is based on or resembles anti-religious, anti-ethnic, anti-sexual orientation, racist, or sexist philosophies.

    13. Discussion of religious or political topics is prohibited on the Community Sites.
    The only thing I would be aware of, and TBO critical of, is that fact that one doesn't know who is participating in these discussions, and could in fact be violating decency laws.

    There are dating and support sites that are not associated with the game; if you want to help someone come to terms with their sexuality, go there... this is a game...
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    Community Member bsquishwizzy's Avatar
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    My only comments are these (because my serious character flaws include commenting on something where no one wants to hear what I have to say):

    1) It is a fantasy game. You should probably leave politics, religion, and sexual orientation stuff for Real Life.

    2) Openly identifying as liberal, conservative, heterosexual, homosexual, black, white, polka-dotted will make you a target for someone who is opposed to said stance, behavior, beliefs, and/or coloration. It may sound batty as to why some people believe / do what they do, but that’s life. No everyone thinks the same.

    3) This environment provides an areas that is wholly disconnected from reality. Keeping it that way protects everyone. Kinda like going to a party and discussing nothing but the weather, or sports while everyone gets smashed on the punch. Yeah, the small-talk sucks, but the punch is GREAT!!!

    Anyhow, just my passing thoughts on keeping the game less caustic than it is when a new player joins a farming zerg run, with no self-healing, and asking for a share the first thing they do…

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    Build Constructionist unbongwah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PsychoBlonde View Post
    Last I checked you don't play this game with your genitals so why does this matter in the slightest?
    Unless you've managed to play online games without hearing / reading a single homophobic comment, you shouldn't need to ask that.

    There are plenty of great players online; there are also plenty of thoughtless jerks. I can't fault someone for not wanting to swim in the unclean waters of the general populace by seeking those of like mind. Same reasons, say, a female player might seek out an all-girls guild; or a parent might seek out a family-friendly guild for their kids.

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    Sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with games like this.

    Consider - internet games are a way to separate oneself from reality temporarily.

    In DDO I do not:

    - engage in political debate
    - engage in racist debate
    - engage in sexually-oriented debate
    - engage in religious debate

    Seems like alot of things I don't do, right? No. In reality, I just try not to be a bigot. You know what, most people are like this. They simply won't engage. Because it doesn't MATTER.

    Regardless of whether a person is comfortable or not with their sexuality, DDO offers a place to adventure where this thing does NOT MATTER.

    And you want it to?

    In THIS world?

    Why?

    Aes.

  11. #11
    Community Member Therigar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by caissede12 View Post
    it kinda feel like if people where making heterosexual guild only... its kinda sounds a "black only" or "white only" guild. They may feel more comfortable together, but its kinda... racist? (or homophobic/heterophobic?)
    It is an odd thing but true that the more a person pushes for recognition the more they generate hate in response. Racism isn't in decline in spite of more than 50 years of the civil rights movement or the end of slavery in the US some 150 years ago. To the contrary, it crops up in places where I would not normally expect it, like on the soccer pitch or in Italian politics (banana anyone).

    The same is true with LGBT. The more that it is made part of the conversation the more polarizing it becomes. Anyone aware of what just transpired in Russia?

    I'm not saying that things should be in the closet, or don't ask don't tell. But, understand that it is a thin line between seeking people with similar thoughts and interests and proselytizing. If viewed as proselytizing then it will draw push back from people who are adamantly opposed. And, when that occurs rational dialogue disappears almost immediately and stereotypes set in.

    I could not even begin to imagine the community reaction if I were to start a "straight only" guild on Orien -- or any other server. I would expect Turbine to almost immediately shut down the thread and, if the guild survived, for it to be pushed underground -- always expecting to feel the ban hammer.

    The same would be true for a "whites only" guild or anything else along those lines.

    Politically and socially sensitive topics actually have little place in DDO. It would be right for Turbine to oppose the "straight only" or "white only" guild. It would also be right for them to oppose the active LGBT guild postings on the same basis.

    IMO the place for those identifications is in the guild thread itself on the server guild forums. Introduce the guild, mention you are recruiting, identify the characteristics of the players you are most interested in recruiting. But, posting politically and socially sensitive topics should be against Turbine policy and for good reason.

    In fact, I think it is.

    FWIW, I've never had anyone ask me my age, sexual orientation, race, religion or any other sensitive question when I join a group. I've never noticed it to matter. I've never asked anyone else about themselves either.

    About the only thing ever discussed is where a person lives. It is fun to be in a group with players from around the world. Makes me feel more connected. But, I'm weird that way.

  12. #12
    Community Member Therigar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by unbongwah View Post
    Unless you've managed to play online games without hearing / reading a single homophobic comment, you shouldn't need to ask that.
    Other than noticing that the default gender for all characters at creation is female -- a change from the original male gender default -- in spite of women being the minority in DDO, I have never encountered this. When the change to default gender was made, there were some rude comments made. But, that passed.

    If it occurs it is atypical. It is doubtful that it merits deliberate choices to segregate oneself from the community as a whole.

    If the goal is tolerance and understanding then that comes by being a part of the community not by separating oneself from the group.

    BTW, would it be so hard to let us set the default for ourselves with a little check box. I don't have a problem with the fleshy races because I can see the difference on the screen. But warforged are a whole different story. Nothing like Mike the Mauler and then having that female warforged squeal when he, er, she rages.

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    Community Member susiedupfer's Avatar
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    I have nothing against the OP wanting to form/join/recruit to a guild of like minded people. In his/her post to the recruitment thread(where this actually belongs), they said something to the effect of "and other friendly people". That pretty much takes it out of the discrimination realm IMHO. I think if you make a guild, you get to set the rules for recruitment, WITHIN THE FRAMEWORK OF THE TOS. Period.
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    2016 DDO Players Council PsychoBlonde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susiedupfer View Post
    I have nothing against the OP wanting to form/join/recruit to a guild of like minded people.
    Just out of curiosity, how does being LGBT qualify one as a "like-minded" person? Does one's sexuality determine one's ideas? You'd have better luck just advertising for people who like to be flamboyant and leaving the question of sexuality out of it.

    I understand "adults only" guilds because they seem to largely contain people who want to cuss and natter about sex/drugs/alcohol/whatever without having some irate guildie complain about the children. That's more in the realm of fair warning.

    I've run across a few homophobes online but mostly they're just hilariously clueless dorks afraid of the gay cooties. I dunno about anyone else but I find it difficult to be offended by that sort of thing.
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    The Hatchery karl_k0ch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PsychoBlonde View Post
    Just out of curiosity, how does being LGBT qualify one as a "like-minded" person? Does one's sexuality determine one's ideas?
    It doesn't entirely.

    susiedupfer's post already contains an answer to this question.
    Looking at OP's recruitment post, they seem to look for LGBT players and friendly players. Thus, I'm under the impression that the OP is interested in creating a social environment where one aspect of real life, which is possibly of importance for the guild members, or maybe even in some kind problematic, can be talked about without any negative repercussion.

    Quote Originally Posted by Therigar View Post
    The same is true with LGBT. The more that it is made part of the conversation the more polarizing it becomes.
    Disagree.

    The less something is talked about, the more exotic and alienating it becomes, possibly even for the people who find themselves in such a kind of taboo'd subgroup. Offering a place (i.e. a guild) where it's totally OK to be L, G, B, T, or a squirrel, is something which can especially help those people to have a feeling of being connected, and not an isolated abnormal being.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Therigar View Post
    Other than noticing that the default gender for all characters at creation is female -- a change from the original male gender default -- in spite of women being the minority in DDO, I have never encountered this. When the change to default gender was made, there were some rude comments made. But, that passed.

    If it occurs it is atypical. It is doubtful that it merits deliberate choices to segregate oneself from the community as a whole.

    If the goal is tolerance and understanding then that comes by being a part of the community not by separating oneself from the group.

    BTW, would it be so hard to let us set the default for ourselves with a little check box. I don't have a problem with the fleshy races because I can see the difference on the screen. But warforged are a whole different story. Nothing like Mike the Mauler and then having that female warforged squeal when he, er, she rages.
    You have encountered it, you just choose to deny it. I had some kid in one of my groups today spouting the word 'gaylord' to another person in the group. Whether it was intended just as fun or not wouldnt make it seem any less malicious and insulting to a lot of LGBT people as a racial slur would be to ethnic minorities.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DDOisFree View Post
    Freedom of union and all that, you know, something to do with human rights.
    IMO, the problem is the really small line between union and separation. Homosexual only guild... what about heterosexual only guild? would those be ok? same can be said for XYZ language only, girl/guys only etc. I guess here the LGBT here is ok since it also add "and friendly players", so it dosnt stop other from coming, but says it will mainly be made off gaymer. I saw often a "French guild" whit more English people than french...

    Quote Originally Posted by Nahiz View Post
    This. Nobody would say anything about a girls only guild, a french only guild or a "we love color blue" guild or whatever. Dont delude yourselves, forumites.
    Same would goes whit a "black only" guild, where probably less (if not none) people would be against it, because in a certain way, we are scared of be seen as a racist. In contrary whit a "white only" guild, most of the people would just go nuts and yell racism right away. This dosnt make sens, but its how lot of culture will react.

  18. #18

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    jeez you guys are making way too much out of this. The way I read it the OP wants a guild where "gaymers" are welcome and can be themselves, the way he constructed his post it seems he's fully aware that there would be a stigma on this subject.

    I think it's good he has the guts to be clear on the subject because I'm sure there are plenty of people who would love to be themselves in a guild or even just an unofficial group of friends. And also a lot of people who wouldn't want to be in such a guild for various reasons.

    People just come with all kinds of interests and I don't see why this is different from groups that like anime, roleplaying, permadeath, girls only besides from the reception it gets from other people.

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    Community Member DiamondPrinceJC's Avatar
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    House Nix'uldo'ch is a non-exclusionary guild. My intention on starting this guild is to have a group of players you can run with that you don't have to worry about a player dropping a "three letter F bomb" in party chat or worried to talk on speaker mode. I am not opposed to letting ANYONE join as long as they are respectful to everyone else. That being said, if any derogatory words are used by guild members the person in question WILL BE excluded from the guild.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondPrinceJC View Post
    House Nix'uldo'ch is a non-exclusionary guild. My intention on starting this guild is to have a group of players you can run with that you don't have to worry about a player dropping a "three letter F bomb" in party chat or worried to talk on speaker mode. I am not opposed to letting ANYONE join as long as they are respectful to everyone else. That being said, if any derogatory words are used by guild members the person in question WILL BE excluded from the guild.
    lol. I have heard more than a few LGBT drop a "three letter F bomb". Will they also be excluded from your guild?
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