This is a nicely written, clear explanation of the different mindsets a player may have in different situations. It offers logical reasons for a cleric not casting a "critical needs" heal in a BYOH party without being whiny, snobby, extreme, victimized, or inflammatory.Speaking as a player who has several clerics, who actively enjoys playing the nanny, and who is often complemented on the healing I gave, I think even this statement -- which sounds really reasonable on the surface -- fails to do the subject justice.
I've found that being in the nanny role requires a very different mental orientation than regular play, and the important point for this thread is that so would BYOHing.
Nanny: As a nanny I am almost completely focused on the party's red bars. I am trying to get a feel for who is taking damage at what rate so I know what level of healing won't be overkill. I have one finger on the key of whichever player seems most likely to need urgent healing. The rest of my awareness is dedicated to trying to keep track of where people are, trying to stay alive, and a bunch of other peripheral things. In that mode I'm mostly stationary (or walking into walls! ).
When it happens that my skills are not needed and I get bored, I sometimes switch into combat mode and drop a spell or take some swings -- and that usually ends up coming back to bite the party because now my attention is focused on things other than what healing the party needs. In those few seconds I've completely lost track of all the awareness I discussed in the previous paragraph.
Standard: When soloing or otherwise not in nanny mode, I'm paying attention to everything at once. I'm mostly focused on my immediate surroundings, plus giving glances at the party red bars as often as I can. But when someone goes low, whether I can do anything about it is much more hit-or-miss. And of course, just as my healing efficiency is down, so is my offensive efficiency.
BYOH: I don't actually do BYOH, really. Why would I, when I enjoy being the healer? But if I did it with one of my clerics, the whole point would be to focus on things other than healing. I would be every bit as focused as in Nanny mode, but on other things: switching weapons to do the best damage, positioning my BBs right, trying to keep track of the mobs' save types, and so on. Oh, and staying alive and healing myself.
So what does this have to do with the post I quoted?
When I'm in that BYOH mode, if you're right next to me and barely able to stand, barely able to quaff a potion because you have two broken arms, and all you can taste is blood when you actually do get the potion up to your mouth, what makes you think I would be aware of any of this? The LFM said BYOH, so what that tells me is, hey, for once I get to actually ignore the party's red bars so I can focus on everything else!
(And yes, even then, if I actually noticed your red bar was in danger, I'd do something about it -- just as I would if I was playing my 12/8 ranger/rogue with much more limited healing ability.)
Are you sure you are in the right thread?