if you do multiple lives, do trie your hand at some epics to gain tokens for tr-ing and gaining some Epic Destiny points.
For trash mobs i recommend the trusty old carnifex(good for lv 4-10) a very good greataxe, to speed things up. (when a crazzy barb has sprinted ahead and taken agro :P)
Vod and Hound have nice gear that works well in most lives but i bet you'll hit 20 before you get that, at wich point the purple dragon knight gear might work just as well and might be easier to aquire too.
By then 20% heal amp bracer are found on the AH/vendor, i just bought 2 for 30k each, they stack with the 30% heal amp pdk gloves and your healer will love you for your heal amp
A bastard sword sound very nice and fits the theme well but be prepared to loose agro to your party members due to lack in dps, you'll need dps in ddo as a tank because intimidation allone will not work on its own.
A barb will have those same 2 handed fighting feats aswell as cleave/greatcleave.
I do not recommend the house denith bastard sword build for a first life paladin, it boxes you interms of feats..
and paladins dont get too many feats.
The costs for (the future) enhancements are unknown but usually a tank needs most of them for tanking.
i agree on cleave/greatcleave, it very good at low level, but they are needed for Overwhelming Critical, an epic feat you might wanne work to in your end life. it does require 23 str too.
metamagics to complement your healing and agro boosting enhancements might be wiser then the third 2 handed fighting feat.
In de past i have taken 2 monk levels on my paladin (even after the introduction of prr), walking around in plate but switching to the parasitic breastplate for caster bosses like the abbot. (who didnt need tanking btw)