I play quite a bit, for some 5+ years now. And I'verun most every type of toon, on multiple servers, and TR'd several. But I tend to prefer arcanes.
And no, I see no need to buff everyone, with every defensive spell, all the time. Nor do I see a need to avoid it either. Remember, as a squishy, those big burly meat shields are a good line of defense.
That said, I don't whip out spells to everyone all the time. Nor do I expect total self sufficiency. And if it's a moderately rounded or full party, I never assume everyone carries pots and clickies. Bards, Rogues and everyone else should have some degree of savvy how to play their toon, and constantly spanking the cute pot button like a hyperactive weasel on crack isn't necessary. DDO isn't Diablo, though too many don't see that. Which is fine. Go play how you like. But yes, I will get irked when the hyperactive weasels on crack push to change DDO into Diablo. If I wanted to play Diablo, I would. Consider this me, pushing back. Pushing for DDO to be DDO and not a bad Diablo Neverwinter knockoff.
I see no problem with ship buffs, per se. The execution is currently flawed IMO. I see them as horribly OP'd at lower levels, and having (in part) a negative impact at mid to higher levels. If you don't see the holistic issues here, then either you don't understand the concern or you don't see it as a problem. I hope it's not the latter, as that's just another brick in the wall that slowly but inevitably will lead to DDO's end.