Preface: I'm not here to convince or argue anything with anyone. I probably won't follow this thread or even post replies. This is more a reminder for those of you who already instinctively understand this stuff.
I'm a lurker here. I read the dev posts (and the resultant threads) pretty much daily for fun. I just wanted to point out, from a outside perspective, how toxic the community gets sometimes. Maybe it's not easy to notice or recognize, especially when you're not saying this stuff directly to another human being, but it's all over the place.
My guess is that a lot of game designers/companies don't really know how to handle it at this point.
I also play another large MMO, where I raid lead; I watch that game's forums as well, and it also happens there; just way more here. As a community, we get pretty awful with DDO's developers.
You guys know, the reality is that designing games takes time and money. Those are both limited resources. Imagine these guys are a group of your buddies, down the road, trying to work up a D&D game for you to play. You can bring money into the equation, and use it as justification for being unproductively cruel, but the truth is your friends want to eat and they want to be able to provide shelter for their families and all that stuff...while working on a game they probably consider their hobby.
Treat them like real people; like your neighbors, or your friends, that don't always get everything right. If you avoid making them feel horrible about admitting mistakes, they'll be more likely to admit them; even if it's, "We probably should have done that better, but it's too late now because we don't have the development time to correct it."
Realize that development time is very limited. They don't avoid fixing bugs because they don't care; it's just that it's either new features, or existing features. It's about priority. If we all start spending $100+/month, they'll probably be able to do more, but when many of us are coasting on $0-$15/mo, and the player base isn't incredibly huge, someone, somewhere has to be realistic.
Realize these are human beings making the game. Realize that you only get so loud in your condemnation because you really do feel attached to this game. Be human (or your race of choice) on the internet.
Just to provide our perspective: I play this game pretty much on the side, but that doesn't stop my partner and I from loving DDO as much as we do! It's the only game we've found that allows us to duo tons of challenging content in this super cooperative way that we just love. We run a party of four-six (two hirelings, and now the owlbears at 15-25). Currently playing artificer and a druid/monk/rogue splash (so one of us can spot, and the other can disable; makes traps fun for us both).
We're on TR1 lives, and currently VIPs atm (so we can decide what packs we'll pick up when the sub ends; we have like 160k TPs ready to spend when it wears off), doing every quest on Elite, from 1-20; we're banking xp as much as possible, but it's going slow since we're getting too high to get most of our bravery bonuses now (usually 0-1 levels over). We're only focusing on a single character each (to avoid having to upgrade bank space on multiple toons). We're planning to do as much of completionist as possible (an amazing idea that completely makes DDO in my head), but I'll probably go Artificer 10 on each of my lives with everything just so I can keep playing the same concept.
I really enjoy this game. It's not my only game. Things aren't perfect here. Sometimes the bugs can be very frustrating (esp when they break quests), but it is what it is, and I'd be sad if DDO was over, or didn't exist in the first place.
I'm glad to share this hobby with the developers and my fellow players. For the developers, just keep it interesting; realize that I won't always agree with you guys. For the players, please realize that it's a ton of work, and spend your money wisely; only purchase what you're likely to enjoy and you'll find it's easier to be grateful for the game you play.
And for everyone, remember that it's often passion that leads to toxic behavior. Developers, understand the people who are the worst offenders, often care tremendously about what you're doing. Players, stop before you hit that nasty post, and realize you can share your passion and energy without getting dirty or mean. You guys are on the same side here. Good luck!