Yes it's us!
Recruitment: Currently Open
Due to the large quantity of posts on how terrible Turbine is, I decided to make it even worse by letting Thelanis know that we exist.
Some of you may know the few of us in the Blood and so know that we don't need much introduction, but for those of you who don't know us, just remember that those players who do know us are lying and we didn't do that!! We might have been involved in this but we thought it was because this person was actually that person and so we are not responsible. Wasn't it hilarious though the way they blamed that PUG for it?
We're good at resembling Top End, Spank DDO Bum players with a touch of taking the **** out of life and not taking ourselves seriously. We do expect a bit of competence and a lack of self respect...I mean a lack of piking. We expect you to pull your weight (unless Zallazar is healing, then all armour comes off), and at least be honest about yourself. Hearing about how uber your finesse kensai 1st lifer who dual wields a scepter of sonic resistance and +1 bastard sword and how the only reason you're not beating us on kill count is you have Lag (and we're not hirelings) is perfectly fine by us and sometimes amusing, unless you state you have tons of TR's and know what you're doing (generally followed by a *ding*).
Couple of FAQ (Asked more than None):
1) We are NOT RP'ers, I personally have a dirty RP spirit deep down and I enjoy drunken storytelling but as a guild we're not in DDO for that. We like our name too but don't ask us to smell the roses. You will be taunted a second time.
2) We have fun, in a detrimental sense. Rather refrain from lecturing us when we sarcastically ask where House D is when we're about to do Tempest Spine on a lvl 25 for that bloody axe that never drops.
3) There is not many of us at all at the moment (overstatement of "us" and exaggerated "many"), however we are looking to maybe expand a bit but we prefer intimacy (shadow-humping not hugging) over Guild Level. We are not here to be an army, we are here to be Elitist Pig Bestest Friends. We will train you if we like you or we'll accept expensive presents.
4) We're on Euro time. We're not completely genocidal but we do kind of expect to run only in Euro time slots unless we have insomnia or a public holiday. We of course have a natural dislike for certain nations who are evil bastards (Mainly Australians for beating us at sports and the Brazilians for pulling all the loot we want) but we won't scorn you outright. Everyone is welcome, we have guild chat and officer chat to diss you behind your back.
5) The "us" in the guild has been around for a good many years and has completed everything on everything. Perhaps too many years spent here, but we don't need you to know everything nor do we want you to recite the dwarven alphabet backwards or tell us which pictures of the coloured wheels to put where in the pit. All we expect is for you to know how the game is played (you drag it from your feats tab to your hotbar and click it) and how to DDOwiki something like a damn Shroud Light Puzzle (or at the very least ask beforehand). Touching the wrong levers or pulling the entire quest to us on elite are idiot moves we generally use as bio's to warn off bad players. Try to not be a bad player and we'll get on fine.
You sound awful, how do I get in?
You may need to search for us by guild as we have too many characters and I have nowhere to copy and paste from. We also accept donations and TP's which is not tax deductible.
This is to get a ball rolling mainly for anyone looking for us and so you have somewhere to complain when you want to blame us for something publicly. Our Epeen has scars to0!
Website is in my signature and we're in game. First rule of BoTT club is you need to actually be able to speak to us in game or what's the point of applying? You get to talk about BoTT club...for now.