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Thread: Joke Weapons?

  1. #21
    Community Member Kilbar's Avatar
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    May 2008
    Brandon, MS


    Quote Originally Posted by Lumi_of_Irian View Post
    How do I turn off the content filter as I'm not 8 years old?
    Just look up Iron Maiden. Bruce is their singer.

  2. #22
    Community Member jozzcooper2's Avatar
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    Feb 2008


    A named set of arrows from the Shadow Crypt, the shards of light, heal on a hit.

  3. #23
    Community Member
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    Apr 2013

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by ForgettableNPC View Post
    Well, since now I can post in the forums again, I wanted to put out something that's been in my mind for a long time:

    Joke Weapons.

    I don't know how everyone might take this, so I'm going to put out the specs for my first idea off the bat.

    First idea: A Healing Shiv that heals your enemies instead of damaging them; hitting them for positive energy.

    Possible Names:

    Healing Shiv
    Positive Energy Dagger
    Healing Shiv of Healingness

    Weapon Type: Dagger
    Damage: 1d4 - 1 Pierce


    -1: This weapon is less well-made than normal, giving a -1 penalty to attack and damage rolls.

    Healing (Cooler name to replace later): This weapon is sheathed in positive energy. A healing weapon deals an extra 2 to 12 damage of positive energy damage on a successful hit.


    This poorly-made, handcrafted shiv channels positive energy to heal those you damage with this very weapon. What use could you possibly have for a weapon that HEALS your enemies, anyway? Heal your enemies to death? Ridiculous.

    May think up more joke weapons later, depending on how the response is for this one here.
    A weapon that actually heals your enemy would be great for tanking bosses that need to die at teh same time

  4. #24
    Community Member ~carpengui's Avatar
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    Apr 2013

    Default Okay, I'll play...

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkForte View Post
    No thanks. The devs already give us enough joke items as raid/ee loot
    Well, I gotta admit, I've seen a lot of things like the one I pulled on Friday - a +3 Greataxe of Ice Lore ("spellcasting implement"). I put it onto the auction house for the sole purpose of sharing the silliness.

    That said... and fully in the spirit of this thread... I actually endorse the ideas being spread here - especially the Frying Pan idea ("gender required: female"?)... so long as there's some actual attraction to using them. If there's a joke item that would simply occupy an inventory spot, then the novelty will be short-lived.

    The Eveningstar snowballs were a fairly interesting idea in this direction.
    Bards could have a range of instruments available to them, for instance.

    Some other thoughts... since Turbine is owned by Warner Brothers...

    1. Elmer Fudd's Helm: Using this helm makes one take on the characteristics of Elmer Fudd, providing a -10 penalty to Eloquence, -2 to INT; +15 bonus to AC. Includes 5 charges of Rage per rest, which last for 2 minutes each. Unfortunately also makes user more susceptible to mind control spells. Level 14.
    2. Bugs Bunny's Carrot (trinket): Bugs is known for being able to work himself out of the most dire circumstances, largely due to his cunning. Provides +2 insight bonuses to INT, WIS, and CHA, plus +2 Good Luck bonus. Level 18.
    3. Road Runner's Sprinters (boots): This item speaks for itself. Provides 5 charges of a 100% speed boost to striding and melee attacks for 30 seconds. Level 16.
    4. Marvin Martian's Q36 Space Modulator (weapon/thrown): A simple weapon that has a 3 seconds fuse that starts when thrown. Provides an insta-kill explosion of enemies and friends alike over a small area (the space of typical mass spell buffs). Victims may survive with 10d20 damage with a DC25 reflex save. Unfortunately, Marvin's weapons typically have difficulty with deployment, and have a 50% failure rate. They also tend to bounce around a bit and could backfire on the thrower. Level 10.
    5. Porky Pig's Vest (cloak): Porky's Diction is legendary; but as a loyal friend, he is an ally who will stick with you no matter what kind of mess you get him into. His vest provides -15 to Eloquence, +2 insight to CHA, DR-5/Lawful, and 10% Elemental Energy Absorption. Level 20.
    6. Daffy Duck's Webbings (boots): Daffy is under-rated as a swimmer, since his emotions typically make everything else seem irrelevant. +15 to SWIM ability, Underwater Action, plus +2 insight bonus to DEX and 25% striding. Provides 3 charges of Rage for 30 seconds each per rest. Level 12.
    Last edited by carpengui; 05-06-2013 at 02:30 PM.
    Kobold been here before...

  5. #25
    Community Member
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    Apr 2013


    Nerf Bat
    1d8, 5% crit chance, x2 crit multiplier
    Two-handed bludgeoning weapon
    Red, Purple and Colorless Augment Slots

    Special: Cannot damage the target if the damage would cause the target to go below 1 HP.

  6. #26
    Community Member ~ForgettableNPC's Avatar
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    Apr 2013
    Somewhere deep down in Khyber...unless if I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque


    Think I'll come up with another joke weapon idea some other time, sooner or later.

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