Paladins suck! Drow suck! Drow paladins? Suuuuuck!

Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them 43 minutes to solo Tempest's Spine (caster was piking at entrance for XP/favour)! And they didn't even get full bonuses! Shocking!
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them 37 minutes to solo DQ1! Funnily enough, I was going to hit an LFM for this but then the party leader put an elitist comment in it. Who needs you; imma solo it! And by the looks of it I completed faster than they did too!
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them 32 minutes to solo Invaders with Polar Ray-spamming Ice Flensers (caster piked again)! And paladins are supposed to be good against outsiders! Outrageous!
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them half an hour to solo Crucible! Barely 1000 XP/min! Crucible drow paladins!
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them 29 minutes to do Ghosts of Perdition with Polar Ray-spamming Ice Flensers! Good grief, it's less than 10 minutes on a caster!
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them about the same amount of time to solo DA as a caster, but only because the spawn rate is so slow!
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them over an hour to solo Enter the Kobold! Kobold always hate you! Long time! (This took two attempts; a couple of unlucky rolls killed me during the first end fight attempt.)
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes just as long to solo Weapons Shipment! A couple of close calls in this one; Succubus' Change of Heart attack almost killed me; luckily I had Displacement up to mitigate damage.
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them 29 minutes to solo Sins of Attrition! This is embarrassing! Have you ever seen a Blade Barrier caster in here?
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them 77 minutes to solo Bastion of Power! And then their gear is broken by the end! I was fighting the marilith in my undies after my healing amp DT armour broke.
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them almost two-thirds of the allotted time to do A New Invasion! (I'd purposely avoided levelling up for epic destinies here. Funnily enough, my Fury barb could not solo this on elite. The air ellie would keep bouncing me around, and then there were issues with having to pot against stat damage, poison, disease--all on the same timer--on top of SF pots for HP loss, which further debuffed saves and slowed movement. However, a UMD paladin could PWK the air ellie, make most saves against the pit fiend's spells, and quickly pop a Heal scroll to clear negative effects and top up health.)
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Drow paladins suck so much, it takes them 47 minutes to solo In the Flesh when over-level! I tried about five times at-level, but kept getting chain-stunned by mind flayers and gave up. Later on, I was planning a future life and remembered Sap, so I swapped GTHF for Sap. In addition to the two extra levels and the extra feat (one more tier of THF), I switched to Defender of Siberys from Hunter of the Dead for extra saves and HP buffer, had a little more DEX and CHA, and enough UMD to wear a Blasting Chime instead of a Good Luck +2 trinket. Otherwise the character was much the same at 19 as at 17. The end fight this time took only one try, with the tactic being kill the beholders, keep one mind flayer sapped, and then go all-out on Yaulthoon. I wish I'd remembered Sap earlier so I could have tried the strategy at-level.
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Of quests traditionally considered hard to solo at-level, but not pictured:
  • Swiped Signet, Proof is in the Poison, Freshen the Air: surprisingly easy with static elemental resistance items and the ability to scroll Nightshield vs. Magic Missile.
  • Spawn of Whisperdoom: I'd purposely left up some traps in the village section, having had problems with killing Whisperdoom before, but she died surprisingly quickly in melee.
  • Offering of Blood: was surprisingly easy. Cleave, cleave, cleave; dead hordes.
  • Siegebreaker: took two tries. Funnily enough, the end fight was not the problem. I was killed by a medusa chain-stunning and doing her force attack.


Did not attempt/failed:
  • DQ2: plinked away with my bow until Lailat got annoyed enough to come down for a visit, but she hits quite hard without scaling. It may have made a difference if I'd remembered to turn Maximise on, but I didn't want to redo the bow plinking.
  • Running with the Devils: from past experience, it's extremely hard to overcome the self-healing of the final miniboss before the end fight on a melee.
  • Monastery of the Scorpion: I've soloed it on a melee before on hard, but invisibility worked then, and the respawns on elite would be difficult to handle on a melee, not to mention the lack of disco ball immunity on anything but a PM.
  • Stealer of Souls: tried a couple of times, but the endlessly respawning clerics in the earth boss room were too much. I didn't want to burn up my stock of PWK scrolls. Maybe if I could fit Improved Trip with the DCs to back it up.
  • In the Demon's Den, Acute Delirium, Dreaming Dark: would love to have tried them, but at this point, I was wanting to move on to a ranger life. And rangers suck worse than paladins! For real!