Results 1 to 19 of 19
  1. #1
    Community Member themoonbreaker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    295

    Default The Moon Breaker

    So, I'm writing a novel based on DDO.

    It is not finished yet but I am looking for some feedback on whether or not it is worth finishing. It has taken a long time to get this far (I've spent a ton of time mapping the outline) and I'm starting to think I need to focus on something more commerciallly viable. Sadly, fan fiction has such a poor reputation that I've been unable to get much response from peer review writing sites.

    In any case, it has been fun working on it and good practice.

    The few people who have read it haven't made it to chapter 3 so I'm starting to suspect the navigation might be confusing. Or maybe it's the writing...

    So, if you are bored at work, can't play DDO and don't mind giving some constructive feedback, hit the link in my Sig.

    Thanks!
    The Moon Breaker A DDO Novel Series. Online or epub versions

    What are zombies doing locked in deposit boxes at Lordsmarch Bank? Find out in Stormreach Syndicate

  2. #2
    Community Member Inferno346's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    677

    Default

    One thing to consider...

    I know you are trying to make things more interesting through adjectives, but readers like to be allowed to read between the lines. We can infer that pebbles are tiny, that doorways in a ruined fortress that has already been described as crumbling are probably crumbling, etc. Expressive dialogue tags can be dangerous, too. "Said" or no tag at all is sufficient for most cases; if you use "cried", "introduced", etc. too many times it feels like the author is injecting drama into the words rather than letting the content be dramatic.
    Thelanis: Takhysys, Tenauch, Vitriolus, Kalav, Leprous

  3. #3
    Community Member themoonbreaker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    295

    Default

    Thank you for your time, I really appreciate it. With so little interest, I probably ought to focus on projects that might earn an income in the future. It is hard to be objective about your own work but I had hoped some people who knew the game might find it entertaining.

    It's been a learning experience, that is for sure. Thanks again.
    The Moon Breaker A DDO Novel Series. Online or epub versions

    What are zombies doing locked in deposit boxes at Lordsmarch Bank? Find out in Stormreach Syndicate

  4. #4
    The Hatchery Galeria's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    2,377

    Default

    Well, I think it's too early to give up on it.

    I believe the lack of interest is likely due to the fact that you have posted in the screenshots/fanart section of the forum and not a lot of people check this section, even though it might be the most appropriate place for it.

    I am interested in taking a look but will have to do it later tonight. Hang in there!
    A PUG is like a box of chocolates
    Get people to read your post.

  5. #5
    Community Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    111

    Default

    Id have to say it could be awesome if you finsih it, dont give up on it yet!

    I read the preface, kept me interested
    Last edited by Zammied; 04-16-2012 at 01:48 PM.

  6. #6
    The Hatchery Galeria's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    2,377

    Default

    I have read about 5 chapters so far and I like it. I don't think it's overly descriptive. Keep up the good work!
    Last edited by Galeria; 04-16-2012 at 06:54 PM.
    A PUG is like a box of chocolates
    Get people to read your post.

  7. #7
    Community Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    343

    Default

    i just found this thread, only because it showed up when i clicked 'new posts'. so i haven had time to read your material.

    you may want to try to get a mention in the ebberon chronicle and/or the ddocast
    if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
    if life gives you pickles, well you're screwed. because pickleade sucks.

  8. #8
    Community Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    693

    Default

    Why would you write about Korthos?

  9. #9
    Community Member themoonbreaker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    295

    Default

    Because that's how it all starts, for a player. A story has to start somewhere. It also allows me to introduce non-players to some mechanics of the world and how it works.
    The Moon Breaker A DDO Novel Series. Online or epub versions

    What are zombies doing locked in deposit boxes at Lordsmarch Bank? Find out in Stormreach Syndicate

  10. #10
    Community Member Doomcrew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,169

    Default

    Read the first couple of chapters, an interesting start.
    I will likely read more.

    I agree that the preface did get a good hook in, so we shall
    see.

    Cheers
    You see in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.

  11. #11
    Community Member ElbionTcob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    SoCal, West side represent!
    Posts
    210

    Default

    Nice! So far I like it! Only a couple chapters in so far, but I think it will be a good way to distract myself

    Keep up the good work!
    Cannith- A Tribe Called Zerg
    Elbion Tosscobble: TR'ing Atm
    Ivena: 20 Rouge TR1 Dps/Epic Trapper/Epic Assassination
    And a multitude of changing alts

  12. #12
    Community Member brian14's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    4,896

    Default

    The great white dragon swooped by on outspread wings, gliding silently, then disappeared on the other side of the mountain.

    "Beautiful creature, ain't she?" Ardan whispered in a reverent tone.

    "She'd be more beautiful dead," Kal said bluntly. "Admire the wildlife some other time. Let's move."
    I am looking forward to reading some day how Kalvenor tries to kill Aussircaex in "Reaver's Refuge" chapter. I fondly hope she eats him.
    "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

    "Of course it is. Are YOU going to question beholder's artistic sense?"

  13. #13
    Community Member MerryOldSoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by themoonbreaker View Post
    Because that's how it all starts, for a player. A story has to start somewhere. It also allows me to introduce non-players to some mechanics of the world and how it works.
    Agree with you. I have read all you have posted so far. Very nice work and looking forward to reading more, thanks for sharing with us all.

  14. #14
    Community Member LordLethos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Northern Europe
    Posts
    9

    Thumbs up Thank you for doing this!

    I have great pleasure reading this, and its my main book atm. (I allways read 2 at any time)

    Good language and very interesting history lessons! I'm still in Korthos storywise and am looking forward to understand more about the harbourstuff.

    Please keep up teh good work!

    P.S: The part about the three dagons forming Ebberon was as most ebberon issues news to me! Jolly good! ;D
    Last edited by LordLethos; 05-12-2012 at 07:47 AM.
    Dhorien and Lethos of Orien

  15. #15
    Community Member themoonbreaker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    295

    Default

    Glad you are enjoying it.
    The Moon Breaker A DDO Novel Series. Online or epub versions

    What are zombies doing locked in deposit boxes at Lordsmarch Bank? Find out in Stormreach Syndicate

  16. #16
    Pirate Hero
    2015 DDO Players Council
    RedOrm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    1,148

    Default

    I found the book yesterday, and really enjoyed reading it! I've never even touched Eberron before DDO, so the history is pretty cool to read, quite apart from the story.
    Only down point: when I wanted to continue reading today I keep getting an error message:
    "The website encountered an unexpected error. Please try again later."

    sad animal of choice

  17. #17
    Community Member themoonbreaker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    295

    Default

    Thanks for the kind words. I have a ticket in to reboot the server, which usually takes a few hours. Sigh.
    The Moon Breaker A DDO Novel Series. Online or epub versions

    What are zombies doing locked in deposit boxes at Lordsmarch Bank? Find out in Stormreach Syndicate

  18. #18
    Hero
    2015 DDO Players Council
    Lerl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Selmer, TN
    Posts
    278

    Default

    I have read all that you have written to date, and I have to congratulate you. I love the series and the back story. Please continue to write. You could always publish it yourself.
    We magnetize to our lives what we hold in our thoughts-Anonymous

  19. #19
    Community Member themoonbreaker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    295

    Default

    Thank you! Comments like this really keep me going!

    The site is back online. Your support means so much to me. Thanks!
    The Moon Breaker A DDO Novel Series. Online or epub versions

    What are zombies doing locked in deposit boxes at Lordsmarch Bank? Find out in Stormreach Syndicate

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

This form's session has expired. You need to reload the page.

Reload