I felt it was time to post my Monk build.

The Winded Walrus

Race: Human
Bigger is better, no matter what women say to your face. What better way to say “I will crush you” than a massive meat sack standing in front of you covering the width of a hallway?
Don’t worry about looks; they always love the bald, fat friar types.

You don’t want to be overly brutish but still have enough strength to fling a chair from across a room if you get into real trouble. Or perhaps tip a table over to dive behind until the troops arrive to bail you out.

Some of those crazy martial arts moves require extreme bending, so if you don’t want to bust a seam in your new outfit. I suggest you avoid a very embarrassing moment and stretch a little before the big fight.

The amount of food and drink you’ll consume might limit your total prowess so I say, “don’t bother with those strenuous exercises after you graduate Monk school. Loosen that sash a little and become one with Buddha.”

Let’s face it. You actually made a conscious decision to go toe-to-toe with every monster you meet so brains wasn’t an issue. If you’re smart enough to get yourself into danger, you’ll be smart enough to get yourself out! At least you hope.

This is your proudest trait. Your insight to the world and people has allowed you to mooch off others for many years so revel in your greatness and seize your next free meal.

Even an R`Tard can get invited to the Palace and see the King. You are no exception as every leader will warm up to you even though you continue to wear one article of clothing all the time and speak in backward phrases.

Winded Walrus Stance
+5 Strength, -8 Dexterity, +4 Constitution, -8 Intelligence, -5 Wisdom, +2 Charisma

Way of the Walrus (Disciple of Tusks)
Walrus Strike 1 (+1d6 and Nauseate)

Way of the Walrus (Adept of the Land Walker)
Walrus Strike 2 (+2d6 and save vs. Knockdown DC: 14+Str)

Way of the Walrus (Master of the Bloated Warthog)
Walrus Strike 3 (+3d6 and causes a Cloudkill to immerge)