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  1. #1
    *squish*splash*squish* The_Mighty_Cube's Avatar
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    Default Turbine Mailbag: Dear Cubie, 2nd Edition

    For more letters from the Dear Cubie series, visit the Turbine Mailbag 1st Edition
    ---

    Hello Mighty Ooze!

    I've read over other letters sent in, and I'm scared now! There are so many rules, how am I ever going to remember to follow them all? I don't want to get banned, I just want to talk about DDO with my friends and other players on the forums.

    Thanks for your time,
    Walking On Eggshells

    *******

    Dear Walking,

    The two biggest things to remember are:

    Rule 1. Be nice to your fellow posters.
    Rule 2. If you can't be nice to them, then the forum has two nifty features: an ignore (available by clicking on their name to view their profile and selecting "Add [them] to your Ignore List") and a reported post function (it's in the lower left corner of posts and looks like this ).

    Do these things so that you avoid my oozerific attention.

    Your friend,
    The Cube
    Last edited by Fiendish Cube; 04-09-2008 at 12:20 PM.
    Do not cross The Mighty Cube!

    Quote Originally Posted by MysticTheurge
    Everyone knows Gelatinous Cubes are Weapons of Mass Digestion.

  2. #2
    *squish*splash*squish* The_Mighty_Cube's Avatar
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    Default

    Dear Jiggly One,

    I hate exploiters. I think they're all dirty cheaters, and I want to see them punished to the full extent of the Code of Conduct! It's wrong, and I think everyone should learn the difference between strategy and exploiting. Everyone is doing it and it's wrong, and I want to say so... I didn't use any details, why did I get punished? They are the ones cheating!

    Respectfully,
    Concerned Citizen

    *******

    Dear Concerned,

    We are very pleased that you abide by the Code of Conduct. We're also glad that you want to take action against exploits. However, making threads on the public forums about exploits is not the right action. The forum rules state very clearly to not talk about exploits. Posting to denounce it doesn't make talking about the exploits ok; there is no "acceptable" or "excusable" reason to talk about exploits. The best way you can help instead is the following:

    1. When you see exploiting in game, use the in-game help system to open a ticket. Select "cheating" and give the GMs a description of what is happening.
    2. If you're not sure that Turbine is aware of the bug or exploit, contact us privately to let us know. You can do so using the in-game bug reporting system
    3. If you see something, and you're not sure if it's a bug or an exploit, either submit a bug report, or a cheating report, in game.
    4. Don't make threads about exploits on the forums, for good or bad, just don't do it. Period.

    Your Friend,
    The Cube
    Do not cross The Mighty Cube!

    Quote Originally Posted by MysticTheurge
    Everyone knows Gelatinous Cubes are Weapons of Mass Digestion.

  3. #3
    *squish*splash*squish* The_Mighty_Cube's Avatar
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    Default

    To The Gelatinous Cube,

    I got a warning from you. I'm a good poster and I'm never out of line, but the poster right above me is always being a troll, but I don't see him getting in trouble. Why is that?

    - Annoyed In Argonessen

    *******

    Dear Annoyed,

    If you're generally a good poster, and you've received a warning, it means we're trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, and that you should just be more careful. Warnings don't go against your infraction total. There are two times that you're liable to get a warning: if there's been a pattern of poor behavior from you lately, or if we've been reminding the community against certain behavior repeatedly. Just keep being the good rules-abiding poster that you normally are, and you'll be fine. As for the resident troll? Just use the reported post icon on the post to draw my attention to them. Trolls are my favorite food.

    Your friend,
    The Cube
    Do not cross The Mighty Cube!

    Quote Originally Posted by MysticTheurge
    Everyone knows Gelatinous Cubes are Weapons of Mass Digestion.

  4. #4
    *squish*splash*squish* The_Mighty_Cube's Avatar
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    Default

    Hello Cube,

    Are you a male or a female?

    From,
    Just Curious

    *******

    Dear Curious,

    I'm an ooze.

    Your Friend,
    The Cube
    Do not cross The Mighty Cube!

    Quote Originally Posted by MysticTheurge
    Everyone knows Gelatinous Cubes are Weapons of Mass Digestion.

  5. #5
    *squish*splash*squish* The_Mighty_Cube's Avatar
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    Hey Cube,

    Some clown over in this thread is going on and on about really erroneous data for a character built. I told him how it was: WRONG! Apparently that's not allowed? Is it a crime to tell people that they're wrong? I just wanted to show this guy that he's being a moron, and there are better ways to build the character.

    Thanks for your time,
    Character Builder

    *******

    Dear Builder,

    If you're going to try to help someone with their information, think very carefully about what descriptive adjectives you want to use in regards to the other person, if you'd like to avoid your post being a candidate for cube food. Take your letter for example:
    "Some clown"
    ... if you're referring to Bozo, It, or Krusty, that's perfectly acceptable. To another user? Not so much.
    "he's being a moron"
    ... something tells me you wouldn't like it if someone said that about you, so it's best to leave that sort of talk out of your discussion.

    The best help you can offer is respecting other posters. You don't have to agree with them, just don't sprinkle insulting remarks in your points, as it's garnish for my meals.

    Your friend,
    The Cube
    Do not cross The Mighty Cube!

    Quote Originally Posted by MysticTheurge
    Everyone knows Gelatinous Cubes are Weapons of Mass Digestion.

  6. #6
    *squish*splash*squish* The_Mighty_Cube's Avatar
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    Default

    CUBE!!

    FREE SPEECH YOU [edit: big] PIECE OF [edit: ooze] WHY DID YOU EDIT MY [eaten by cube] POST!!!111!1

    I HOPE [eaten by cube] WHEN [eaten by cube]

    [eaten by cube]
    [eaten by cube]

    *******

    Dear eaten by cube,

    If you would like a forum of complete freedom of expression, this is not the place. On these forums, you have to follow the rules. Those rules are easily found sticked to the top of the forums. There are lines, and when you cross them, your post or comments are going to get closed or removed. If you continually walk up to the line and stick your toes over, those toes will get eaten by the cube. We're happy to provide a place for you to chat and hang outside of the game, but this is still a commercial forum with guidelines that you are required to follow.

    Your friend,
    The Cube.
    Do not cross The Mighty Cube!

    Quote Originally Posted by MysticTheurge
    Everyone knows Gelatinous Cubes are Weapons of Mass Digestion.

  7. #7
    *squish*splash*squish* The_Mighty_Cube's Avatar
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    Default

    We meet again Cube,

    I'm having a discussion, and you saw fit to close it. I didn't agree with it being closed, but when I try to make a thread about the fact you closed it, now I'm in trouble? How does THAT work?

    Signed,
    More To Say

    *******

    Dear More,

    When a thread is closed, it's closed for a reason. Forum rules are very clear that re-opening a closed discussion is against the rules. If your thread was closed, and you didn't get any infraction points, it's best not to test the waters by breaking other rules to boot.

    Your friend,
    The Cube
    Last edited by Fiendish Cube; 04-09-2008 at 12:21 PM.
    Do not cross The Mighty Cube!

    Quote Originally Posted by MysticTheurge
    Everyone knows Gelatinous Cubes are Weapons of Mass Digestion.

  8. #8
    *squish*splash*squish* The_Mighty_Cube's Avatar
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    How you doing Cubie?

    So there is this awesome flame fest going on, and I wanted to toss some popcorn in the mix. Is that ok? I think that flame war needs some marshmallows too while I'm at it. These people amuse me, can't they realize it's just a game?

    All in good fun,
    DDO LoLCat

    *******

    Dear DDO LoLCat,

    Throwing your popcorn and marshmallows in the thread is just fuel for the fire. It's safer for you to hit the reported post button instead if you wouldn't like to see what the inside of a Cube's belly looks like.



    Your friend,
    The Cube
    Do not cross The Mighty Cube!

    Quote Originally Posted by MysticTheurge
    Everyone knows Gelatinous Cubes are Weapons of Mass Digestion.

  9. #9
    Founder Oreg's Avatar
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    Default

    Interesting way to reinforce your policies. When did utilization of sarcasm become a mandatory vehicle for communicating with paid customers? Seems like a trend lately.
    Ravensguard zerx,zerxi,zerxis,zmonk,kieras,varga,oregz

  10. #10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Oreg View Post
    Interesting way to reinforce your policies. When did utilization of sarcasm become a mandatory vehicle for communicating with paid customers? Seems like a trend lately.
    I found it amusing......
    Clerics of Fernia
    King of Stormreach
    (and if you disagree with me, then you can treat me like a Nintendo Cartridge )

  11. #11
    Community Member
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    Default

    All that mail


    ¯\(º_o)/¯


    How does an ooze check it's mail?

  12. #12
    Founder Oreg's Avatar
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    It was amusing. It is just unusual for a company to communicate with its paying customers using so much sarcasm. Companies are usually more reserved especially when dealing with serious or policy driven topics.
    Ravensguard zerx,zerxi,zerxis,zmonk,kieras,varga,oregz

  13. #13
    Community Member frederjoe1's Avatar
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    Default Nice tricks

    I found it rather amusing as well....also think about it, what would be the easiest way to communicate wit a bunch of sarcastic know it alls? Well sarcasm worked for me....lol
    (((((Argonessen - Insanos)))))
    Raesal, Levair, Lashan, Larule, Cornea, Nahtial, Synagis, Sibian

  14. #14

    Default

    Good Lord knows I have sent the cube alot of mail.... threats involving muck banes, general harassment, saying that purple was a better color for cubes as opposed to vomit green, etc etc.

    Unfortunatly the cubed one never responds.

    I wonder with a big enough axe could we turn him into a gealtinous orb? We might have to use cone of cold on him first to firm him up a bit.
    Clerics of Fernia
    King of Stormreach
    (and if you disagree with me, then you can treat me like a Nintendo Cartridge )

  15. #15
    Community Member
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    +1 for amusing!

  16. #16
    Community Member Beherit_Baphomar's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gelatinous Cube View Post
    Signed,
    OMG, I'm an exploiter!
    Sig worthy.

    Nice post Cubie...as for the sarcasm, well, Id prefer it over an iron fist, wouldnt you?
    Binding is Admitting Defeat ~ Yndrofian
    Plook~Squidgie~Eyern~Irnbru~Grotesque
    Of The O.S.D, Argonnessen
    Quote Originally Posted by Grace_ana View Post
    At least I'm not on G-Land.

  17. #17

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by frederjoe1 View Post
    I found it rather amusing as well....also think about it, what would be the easiest way to communicate wit a bunch of sarcastic know it alls? Well sarcasm worked for me....lol
    Amen
    Clerics of Fernia
    King of Stormreach
    (and if you disagree with me, then you can treat me like a Nintendo Cartridge )

  18. #18
    Community Member OrganGrinder's Avatar
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    Default

    I think its great, good work Cube. In essence the cube is just breaking down, in an easier to understand format, information that would be known if people took the time to read the forum guidelines.

  19. #19
    Community Member Gunga's Avatar
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    This is a game. Sarcasm good. Serious bad. This thread, in all of it's dripping glory, did help me understand the rules a bit better.

  20. #20
    The Front Side Gratch's Avatar
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    Default

    This feels like method 18 to decrease recent flame and exploit talk. If it helps some or makes some people laugh then it is worth it.

    If people want to talk about DDO exploits, there's nonTurbine DDO forums. If people want to flame, curse, troll, scream, etc... there's a number of other boards where that is tolerated and some where it's almost encouraged (/points at penny-arcade.com).

    We're getting towards the end of a no content stretch awaiting the monks... tensions are rising. They always do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cordovan View Post
    DO NOT DO THIS. We are investigating.

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