"Learn like you'll never die. Live like you'll never see tomorrow. Watch porn cause you've never had a girlfriend."
"I hereby place my curse on you: for the rest of your life, anything that can
go wrong, will
-Murphy the Magician
"Ya know, that boy Murphy has always been such an incurable optimist!"
-"Stumpy," the blind, quadriplegic leper who taught Murphy to curse, right before he got hit by a 100-ton meteor