View Full Version : Airship Strikes

12-21-2017, 05:08 PM
So. I was considering what colour I would paint my airship when I suddenly had brilliant idea. I am a rich woman. I own this absolutely gigantic airship full of mages and fighters and clerics and magefire cannons and explosives and cement mixers. Everyone aboard pretty much does whatever I want or they get the heave ho. Yet, for all that stuff, my airship just floats over the ocean doing pretty much nothing. Everyone aboard just lounges about, drinking all my rum. Well! It's time to put those lazy lizards to work.

Now comes my brilliant idea. Ready for it? Airship Strikes. If you own an airship you get two new skills: Mark Target and Blast Target Out of Existence. Mark Target, curiously enough, marks a target for your airship to shoot at. Get it? Blast Target Out of Existence blasts the currently marked target out of existence. Makes sense, right? I figure a gigantic airship does, like, a bazillion points of damage when fifty magefire cannons and mages and fire hoses and cement mixers open fire, so I think we can safely say any marked target struck with Blast Target Out of Existence is blasted out of existence, which is why I think Blast Target Out of Existence is such a good name for that skill.

Now this is very important. Only super wealthy owners of Kraken Airships should gain this skill. No guild, no guild leadership, no gigantic Kraken, no blasting things out of existence. Four thousand Astral Shards should amount to something more than a bunch of lazy bums drinking all my booze.


In play it would work something like this:

Vexa the Dagger: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Reaper.

Sophie the Cat Burglar: Stupid reapers. I cannot sneak past it.

Vexa the Dagger: Wait. I have an idea. Hand me your cell crystal. *dials* Utvald? I can hardly hear you.

Utvald the Epic Hirelings Vendor: *hushed voice* Hey everyone. Shut up! It's the Boss Lady! *normal voice* This is Utvald. We were just, uhh, swabbing the deck. *giggles in background*

Vexa the Dagger: We both know you're drinking all my rum. Just listen. I need an airship strike.

Utvald the Epic Hirelings Vendor: Oh, hey. We can do totally do that, Miss Vexa.

Vexa the Dagger: Good. I am transmitting the coordinates now. Remember. One magic missile first to make sure you have the correct target, _then_ you open fire with everything. If you blow up Sophie I am going to stab you in the face. A lot.

Utvald the Epic Hirelings Vendor: Got it. Firing now.

Rick the Reaper: Come here little girls. I have some candy... *zip* OW! What the? Who did that???

Vexa the Dagger: Perfect. Fire, like, everything.

Rick the Reaper: Oh, look. An airship. I wonder... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *massive explosions; a cement mixer falls from the sky and lands on the reaper* Ugggg Ahhhhhhhhhh

Sophie the Cat Burglar: YAY!!!

Utvald the Epic Hirelings Vendor: Did it work?

Vexa the Dagger: Yeah. Stop shooting. Where the heck did you get a cement mixer?

Utvald the Epic Hirelings Vendor: Albuquerque. Can we go back to, ah, swabbing the deck?

Vexa the Dagger: Just make sure everyone heaves ho over the sides this time.


Whoa. Are you actually still reading? Anyway, that is my latest brilliant idea. Airship Strikes. It should be super easy to program and stuff so just do it already. Or not. I don't know. I'm bored.

12-22-2017, 01:06 AM
You're forgetting that powerful, yet mere, mortals can directly withstand airship strikes.

That said, I've long thought that something like airship races or aerial combat should be added. We should get to do something else with the darn ships.