View Full Version : Not so dirty jokes for a Friday

02-22-2008, 07:00 PM
You know how we all get those Fwd: emails with some cute little joke attached? Thought it might be fun to share some of the ones we get at home/work. I'm always down for gettin' a new one to pass around the office (for the troops with a sense of humor anyway).

Just try not to make it so dirty that we get shut down.


The love story of Ralph and Edna

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said,"Edna, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?"



02-25-2008, 02:54 PM
Thats a good one... here is another one-

There was this little old nun named Sister Mary, one of her responsibilities was to do the daily runs to the hospice.
Well one day she was running a little late as she has to talk to Timmy as to why all angels are men. (Another joke).
As she realized she was low on fuel and did not have time to stop by the gas station, she could only hope that she had enough to make her visit.

Well, that old 1978 Chevy V8 Station Wagon ran out of fuel. She realized that there was a gas station about 5 blocks away and looked for a gas can in the back of the wagon. She remebered that she loaned it out to the ground keeper for the lawn mower.
She decided to hi-tail it to the gas station in hopes they can loan her a gas can. They loaned it out to the ground keeper last week, and haven't seen it since. (another long winded joke).

So she runs back to her battleship of a wagon (amazing how a 85+ year old nun can be so zealous) decided to go with the old proverb, "Work with what God gave ya!" and take the bed pan she uses for some of those hospice patients in case they had to go right there.

She gets back from the gas station with a bed pan full of fuel, just as she started to re-fuel the car two homeless alcholics who have been watching her running back and forth walked up to her ever so humbly and said.

"Sister, *Hic, if you can get that wagon to start we will quit drinking and go back to church. *Hic"

water to wine
wee to fuel