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View Full Version : I dislike Uwe Boll



Deragoth
01-12-2008, 03:35 PM
That is all.

Ghoste
01-12-2008, 03:39 PM
/signed

Drider
01-12-2008, 03:41 PM
The teaser for Postal is classic though!

Otherwise, yeah he sucks.

Dariuss
01-12-2008, 04:29 PM
agreed

RictrasShard
01-13-2008, 12:37 AM
A few years back, I was checking out the new movies, and saw Alone In the Dark furtively sitting in a dark corner of the shelf. Being as I quite liked the game, I of course grabbed it. On the way to the counter, something was troubling me, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I laid out the money and made the fateful purchase.

Halfway home, it hit me, this was a Uwe Boll movie! The skies darkened, the doves wept, and the sheep fell mysteriously quiet as I realized just how viciously cruel can be the universe. And on that bitter day, I vowed that someday, somehow, I would reap horrible vengeance on the evil given flesh that is known as Uwe Boll!

And oh yeah, the movie sucked.

Deragoth
01-14-2008, 12:59 PM
Luckily, I realized the new Dungeon Siege movie was Uwe Boll before I bought tickets.

Yes I'm a sucker for a cheap sci-fi/fantasy flick, but I'll never stoop that low again. I was literally poised over the online ticket purchase button as I started to wonder... Why is there only a 1pm showing on Sunday for a movie on it's opening weekend? I hit up imdb and spent the rest of my day cussing about U-be Troll. Do people take ANY pride in there intellectual property anymore?

Alone in the Dark was the my first and last introduction to that hack.

RictrasShard
01-14-2008, 01:24 PM
Alone in the Dark was the my first and last introduction to that hack.

Consider yourself (relatively) lucky. I have also seen House of the Dead, and believe it or not, as bad as Alone In the Dark is, compared to House it is an academy award winner.

Drider
01-14-2008, 01:26 PM
Luckily, I realized the new Dungeon Siege movie was Uwe Boll before I bought tickets.

Yes I'm a sucker for a cheap sci-fi/fantasy flick, but I'll never stoop that low again. I was literally poised over the online ticket purchase button as I started to wonder... Why is there only a 1pm showing on Sunday for a movie on it's opening weekend? I hit up imdb and spent the rest of my day cussing about U-be Troll. Do people take ANY pride in there intellectual property anymore?

Alone in the Dark was the my first and last introduction to that hack.

Well he did not direct that Dungeon Siege movie, just produced, and it has Jason Statham in it, so I'm giving it a try.

Bekki
01-14-2008, 03:06 PM
Consider yourself (relatively) lucky. I have also seen House of the Dead, and believe it or not, as bad as Alone In the Dark is, compared to House it is an academy award winner.

My eyes are still bleeding from that horrible excuse for a movie!!!:mad:

I was so Furious after about the third Animated scene!!!:mad::mad::mad:

*Curses at the heavens like Conan after the Horrible revalation that has been bestowed upon him
that "In the Name of the King" is a Uwe Boll movie!!! :mad:

Bekki
01-14-2008, 03:08 PM
Well he did not direct that Dungeon Siege movie, just produced, and it has Jason Statham in it, so I'm giving it a try.

My brother in Law wants to see that too,
So like you I too will take a chance. :eek:

Wish us luck guys...:D

Tanka
01-19-2008, 02:17 PM
The only redeeming quality in Boll is that he managed to get Kristanna Lokken to appear in a certain scene in the first Bloodrayne.

You know the one. ;)

Fallensbane
01-21-2008, 02:14 AM
Uwe Boll is without a doubt the cancer of video game film adaptations.

Ciaran
01-28-2008, 01:47 PM
Consider yourself (relatively) lucky. I have also seen House of the Dead, and believe it or not, as bad as Alone In the Dark is, compared to House it is an academy award winner.

Amen! That was my first and last Uwe Boll movie that I knowingly watched.

Sadly, the wife picked out Alone in the Dark on night at Blockbuster and it blew chunks mightily.

Then I looked at the box and saw it was Uwe Boll.

D'oh!

It's funny, the Castlevania fandom was up in arms about Paul Anderson directing the Castlevania movie, but we all agreed that at least it wasn't Uwe Boll!

Elfboy
06-22-2008, 02:03 PM
That is all.If I ever meet him in person, I am going to ask for my money back for movies of his I've seen. Then I'm going to kick him squarely in the nuts.

kyebosh
07-10-2008, 05:55 PM
Actually, he may be much more clever than we give him credit for...

There's some taxation write-off law about investing in films in Germany, along the lines of: Multi-Million-Dollar Company-X invests 500k in Movie-Y. As long as Movie-Y never makes a profit at the box office, Company-X gets a rather large tax break. Thus all you need is a big budget movie that will pay cast & crew well but never actually make money, & you've created a tax sink & some very happy/rich/powerful allies.

So the story goes anyway :)

captain1z
07-10-2008, 06:08 PM
Seriously,


Thats not even his real name because he doesnt wanna take credit for the garbage he is shovelling out. Hes afraid it would discredit the the good films that he does under his real name.

Hes the guy you go to, when you want a horrible script turned into a movie on as little a budget as possible. Its great side cash for a director cant knock him for that (but yeah, Z - movies)

Rowanheal
07-10-2008, 06:10 PM
I had the misfortune of netflixing the Dungeon Siege movie ... I tried to watch it last night... It was bbbbbaaaaadddddd OMG bbbbbbaaaaaddddd

How the heck does this guy ruin something with that many fabulous actors... and the set dressings were good... but gods... the story... the editing... the original star trek did a better job on the costumes...

It made my brain smoke and my eyes bleed...

His movies should come with a warning sticker..."foulness inside"

See ya in Stormreach,

-R

DelScorcho
07-10-2008, 06:12 PM
/Signed x 1000. I don't know how he gets work. He must have some highly incriminating photos of someone important with farm animals.




good films that he does under his real name.



screenshot or it didn't happen.

captain1z
07-10-2008, 06:38 PM
If I ever meet him in person, I am going to ask for my money back for movies of his I've seen. Then I'm going to kick him squarely in the nuts.

True story.....................

Myself and a friend I worked with had to fly out to a meeting with Lucas Arts about 5 years ago, we had hoped to run into George so we could ask for our money back after seeing SW: ep #2. We only saw a bunch of other reps so we asked one of them, who had his boss give us $20 and we took a picture of him giving it to us near the big Lucas Arts sign.

transtemporal
07-10-2008, 08:30 PM
ha ha /signed. That guy is life as a car crash. At least Ed Woods movies had a certain naive charm about them, whereas Uwe Boll is just a complete c*ck!

Ciaran
07-16-2008, 11:33 AM
I had the misfortune of netflixing the Dungeon Siege movie ... I tried to watch it last night... It was bbbbbaaaaadddddd OMG bbbbbbaaaaaddddd

How the heck does this guy ruin something with that many fabulous actors... and the set dressings were good... but gods... the story... the editing... the original star trek did a better job on the costumes...

It made my brain smoke and my eyes bleed...

His movies should come with a warning sticker..."foulness inside"

See ya in Stormreach,

-R

That's what I heard about that movie. Too bad, the posters and props in theatres looked interesting.

I'm willing to bet the D&D: Wrath of the Dragon God movie is better than the Dungeon Siege movie...and that movie was bad. Not horrible (although that might be because Ellie Chidzey (http://evildm.blogspot.com/2006/02/ellie-chidzey.html))!

Eww...Boll.

Laith
07-16-2008, 11:35 AM
aww, he's not so bad.

Get some friends, snacks, and prepare for the (unintended) hilarity.
At least you know what to expect. :D


of course, god have mercy on the soul of someone who walks into a Uwe movie unprepared...

Tanka
07-16-2008, 11:42 AM
Uwe Boll movies require vodka.

Lots and lots and lots of vodka.